I did my second ever pump class tonight, and I have to say I really like the class, but bloody hell is it difficult to make it down the stairs afterwards.
Right now, my triceps and shoulders are aching, my thighs hurt, but I think my ass is coming back. Always a bonus.
Monday night I did a jam class. I love dancing, and I have a ball in the class, but the instructor seems to have some issues with counting - telling us one more time, when there's four more times, and he's not big on the 'fun' parts. We did do a routine that had this bizarre roly-poly move in the middle. (Which if I had done, I doubt I would have been able to get up), although I'm thinking one day it will happen.
Next week my mum leaves for Auckland - she's taking off up there for work, and as much as I will miss her, I know she needs to escape Christchurch and do something new. (Or someone new - her call). We're having a mother and daughter day next week - which means only one pump class, unless I can get my ass out of bed at 6am to make the morning one on Friday. I'll see how I go.
That's Largest Person Inthe Class Syndrome (LPIC).
I have it. I am it. I don't want to be it, but I don't think I have a choice. You'll see me - I stand pretty close to the back, behind Hot Guy and Hot Girl, diagonal to Unco Lady, Frighteningly Skinny Chick, and along a bit from Serious Man, Hyperactive Boy, Scary Muscle Woman, while the other regulars are scattered throughout the class.
The instructors always wave at me, make sure I'm doing okay - to the point where I'm now embarassed by the attention. Yes - I am the LPIC. Yes - I am fine. Yes - I did do a good job. (that last one was sarcastic - I'm not bloody five years old). I want to wear a sign that says something along the lines of 'STOP STARING. I CAN DO THIS. NO I WON'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK. I'M FINE'.
I guess they're just trying to encourage me. Which is nice, but everytime?
Please, if you're a gym instructor, and you have an LPIC in your class regularly, and they do okay, stop checking them out every routine - maybe just go with saying 'Hi' before the class starts - like you do to all the other regulars.
By actually figuring out how to fix this blog all by myself. Admittedly it took two changes of template, but hey, here it is, shiny and new. And I did it all by myself.
My arms and my thighs hurt today, but I can move, which I'm quite happy about. Still debating whether I should go to a Pump class tomorrow, it depends what time I wake up, and being car-less, if I have time to walk in.
I think I am going swimming Monday lunchtime with a co-worker and then after work doing a Bodyjam class (or as I like to call it 'White girls have no rythym class'), because as much as I love to dance, I can't lose my inhibitions and let loose. But I try.
It's 5pm Friday. All the ads are in. (A minor miracle). People are laughing. Hey it's the weekend! Lets get out of this hellhole. Two days of no work HURRAH! Home or pub time?
For me, it's neither. It's gym time.
Last night at 5.30 I was standing in a large studio, with a step (three levels), a 10kg bar, and 2 x 1kg weights, a towel and bottle of water.
It was my first Pump class.
The instructor came over and introduced himself and told me to take it easy, just keep an eye on my form, and not push myself to hard. He was cute. I smiled and said I would. He wished me luck, and took his place on the stage up the front.
The music started, I was lifting weights and it was all go. I 'felt the burn', I 'pushed myself', I did 'just four more', and flippen heck do I feel good today. I'm sore - but the kind of sore that you know your muscles love.
After the class, he spoke to me again, aparently 'I did really well, and was I sure that it was my first class, and that I should come back on Sunday. Also, Pump is the best way to redfine your body shape and its been proven.' I thanked him for a great class, told him I'd be back, then attempted to walk down the stairs with jelly legs (from the squats, not because he was cute).
I also weighed myself. And that's not such a pretty story. But dammit, I will get there.
Try a pump class today, your muscles will thank you for it.
So I've just been playing round the template, and for some reason it won't show up as the new one on my home computer but will at work. It's kinda frustrating, but I can't be bothered trying to figure it out right now. I'm sure I could ask the pandyr and recieve a huge long explanation and him fixing it, but fuckit... I don't care that much, but if you do and you're still getting the ugly old red banner jobby, let me know and I'll figure it out.
In other crap, I haven't slept too well the last couple of days. The pandyr keeps forgetting to open the window for Bear, so he's been waking us up at 12.30 every night. Last night I double checked and opened the window before going to bed so I could get an uniterupted nights sleep....... at least until 4.30am where there was a loud knocking noise.....
Strange man's voice :'Is anyone awake??'
The pandyr:'Yes. Who is this?'
SMV: 'It's the police here, I saw your window open and I was worried that you were getting burgled.'
TP: 'uh no, we're okay thanks.'
SMV: 'Okay, take care.'
TP: 'Thanks.'
We hear him walk away and a car take off.
Me: 'So do you think that was a real policeman?'
TP: 'Yeah, he had a flashlight'.
Thats right people, flashlights are now no longer available to the general public and only policemen carry them.
I've been struggling along the food highway, trying to look after myself, failing, now I'm sick. Although, I have been using my gym membership (you know, the one I've had since I was 15). Imagine the kind of body I'd have if I'd actually kept using it all these years.
But no.
If you go to my gym, you'll be able to spot me. Somehow in the on/off years of going, all the larger people seemed to have shrunk. Or maybe they only sign up when there's a deal on, go for a month or two, then vanish. All except me. I'm the overweight, unfit, breathing-heavily-in-the-corner-girl. But hey, at least I'm working on it.
If you live in New Zealand and you want some support in your weight loss efforts, email me - I'm part of a yahoo group of women that rock, and we're looking for new members. Only deal is you have to actively participate. One of the other members in Christchurch is one of my gym buddies, and she's pushing me to do the Special K triathlon in February. However you don't need to do that unless you want to :)
Countdown to weigh in: 4 days
Friday, April 02, 2004
Okay so I haven't weighed in for five weeks due to all the medical crap thats been happening - BUT - I've only gained 200 grams since my last weigh in, so I must be doing something right.
Because of it being Good Friday next week there's no meeting, lets hope I can make it through Easter without pigging out.
Countdown to weigh in: 14 days
Thursday, March 25, 2004
heee, wonder if this would work. Bringing it out to watch me every time I eat my stop me from eating so much.
Countdown to weigh in: 1 days
Monday, March 22, 2004
All I can say is ow. Ow. ow.
I've had today off work, and stupidly did too much, and am now hurting more than I hurt yesterday. Stupid stupid stupid girl.
Oh but the plus side was that the nurse weighed me before I went into theatre and I was down 300grams from my last weigh in. However, when you can't do a heck of a lot round the house, and its uncomfortable to walk down the hall to the toilet, and you want chocolate to make yourself feel better, I'm not too sure how this will turn out on Friday.
Countdown to weigh in: 6 days
Thursday, March 18, 2004
I am hyper and I have had no sleep. Weigh in, shopping, library, dvd store, home then hospital tomorrow.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Countdown to weigh in: 1 days
Monday, March 15, 2004
Okay so here's the deal. Last post was January.
I had a week in holiday in February.
Went to the doctors on the 25th of Feb
Had a scan on the 27th of Feb (they told me it was just going to be a simple jelly on your belly, see your insides, but it ended up with a nice camera up your growler move that tricked the hell out of me.
Doctor phones on the 3rd of March to say tests came back fine, no pcos, no blood trouble, but we think you should see a gynaecologist becuase (boys can stop reading now) your uterus is thicker than normal for someone your age. I have no idea what the fuck this means. I might be 28, but I'm not grown up in the medical ways of the world.
5 March, meet a lovely English man, with a dodgy job (are there no female gyanecologists?), who gets out the lube (I am so sick of people looking at my growler), and five minutes later, once I'm dressed and feeling less embarassed, tells me that most people have around 14mm uterus wall and mine is about 18mm.
Can I come in for surgery on the 19th of March? Yes. I reply. (thank god for medical insurance).
So between freaking out about all this, and not eating right I haven't been to WW in ages. On Friday, I have to get up at 7 and eat, because I can't have anything from then until after my day surgery. Think I might duck into town, do the weigh in, explain to my leader why I haven't been around, come home and try and get some sleep.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee. Sucks to be me right now.
Countdown to weigh in: 4 days
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
chocolate chocolate, how I love you. Especially when I have pms and work is bad.
Countdown to weigh in: 2 days
Friday, January 16, 2004
I am so pleased with myself. Somehow, despite the Indian food (my favourite) and the pizza I've eaten has made me lose 900 grams. Now I'm up to a 10.1 kilo weight loss (or around 22 pounds). I feel heaps better about myself, and I'm noticing little changes about my body - like my back doesn't feel as fatty, and my pants don't fit right.
So many more kilos to go - but not long until I reach my 10% goal, then my 15 kilo goal.
Watch out world, Mel's coming.
Countdown to weigh in: 7 days
Friday, January 09, 2004
Oh yeah - was flicking through the new WW books, and they had some members in there with their old photos and their goal photos.
Now I love before and after photos, celebrities without makeup etc, but I really don't understand some of the pictures.
The changes people make. Like when you can't even see the person in the before photo - that they look nothing like the goal photo. I can understand it - as a bigger person I wish I could hide sometimes - but hey - this is who I am, and yes I'm gonna dye my hair, and wear makeup, and unbutton my shirt so you can see my clevage - hey there's enough of it to go round - and you'll be able to tell that no matter what size I am - I am proud of WHO I am.
Cause weight won't change that.
I guess though, some people aren't comfortable with doing that. So they use the weight as an excuse - to dress in a way they don't want to - to not do something for themselves - maybe they feel like they don't deserve it. Make yourself unforgettable, that will make you invisible and make the weight less noticeable.
Yeah right.
All I can say is don't do it. Be proud of who you are - the shape you have. If you don't like it - you can change it. It's taken me more than three months to lose nearly 10 kilos. But that doesn't stop me being woman.
Right, so its actually been four weeks since I've had a weigh in (yeah yeah, I can't count), but over that four weeks I maintained and managed to lose 600grams. I am so stoked - and I am 200 grams away from my first 10 kilos.
So... I figure 10 kilos should mean a reward of some kind, but I'm not sure what yet.
Countdown to weigh in: 7 days
Thursday, January 08, 2004
Tomorrow is weigh in day. I am slightly nervous, as haven't been to ww for about three weeks now, but, I feel the same, and don't think I have gained - so we'll see how I go.
The wedding was beautiful, and Tarn's mum had to sew up my top while we were getting ready - so thats a good sign (it was a tad too big). I have a couple of pictures, which I think I might get game and post!
D-day tomorrow. Watch out world.
(thats if I can climb the three/four flights of stairs to my meeting - I tripped up the stairs at work today and crashed my knee into the doorframe, so I'm in a bit of pain right now.
Countdown to weigh in: 1 days
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Okay, so its been about two weeks since a weigh in, due to the holidays and stuff. But I don't feel any different, so figure I am maintaining okay, but will find out for sure next Friday.
The big news is though: I'VE LOST A CUP SIZE!
Yes thats right - instead of the doubled, its just the d. I'm pretty stoked with that (although its lucky the Pandyr has small hands so he can't tell yet).
In other news, the wedding is tomorrow, and while I'm not where I wanted to be weight wise, I'm pretty bloody happy with the 10ks (give or take a couple of hundy grams).
Congrats Q & T. It's about bloody time.
Countdown to weigh in: 7 days
Saturday, December 20, 2003
I was reading threads at one of my favourite sites today, and one of the regulars was talking about how she found a teen diary site quite frightening.
I'm not writing about teen music, mary-kate and ashley, or which boy is cuter in math class. I'm talking about the anorexia (ana) sites.
I throughly depressed myself today in looking at sites where girls are starving themselves. They have pictures - skeleton style ribs, jutting hipbones, angular necks...
and this...
Pro-Ana Commandments
1. If you aren't thin you aren't attractive.
2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.
3. You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
4. Thou shalt not eat without feeling guilty.
5. Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.
6. Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.
7. What the scale says is the most important thing.
8. Losing weight is good - gaining weight is bad.
9. You can never be too thin.
10.Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.
So because if I take this seriously I may start crying and not have the ability to stop, I'd like to take this opportunity to piss-take the Ana Commandments...
Commandments of a Fat Girl Dieting.
1. You are beautiful. Yes you. We're all different - and there's a reason they make clothes in all sizes.
2. Being healthy is far more important than how much you weigh.
3. Treat yourself right - so you're XX kilos/pounds overweight? Don't hide - get your hair done, get your nails done, buy sexy lingerie (they do make it in our sizes) and be confident.
4, 5 and 6. You feel like pizza? Great - have two slices and enjoy them - don't scarf a whole one then feel guilty for the next two weeks. Eat whatever you want - BUT IN MODERATION aka Thou shall eat sensibly.
7. How you feel is the most important thing.
8. When you feel comfortable - stop dieting. Maintain.
9. You can eat what you want and lose weight. (it's the moderation thing people).
10. Eating and maintaing the right weight for your height and build are the signs of true will power and success.
Curves are sexy and soft. You are woman.
Countdown to weigh in: 7 days
Friday, December 12, 2003
I'm 800 grams away from losing 10 kilos.
EIGHT HUNDRED GRAMS
I'm a little excited.
Countdown to weigh in: 7 days
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Shoes
I love shoes. LOVE them. Not Imelda love- but fairly close.
In fact, the Pandyr has said that I am not allowed any more shoes until I liberate some from the closet. And yes, there are some I can't/won't ever wear again. But they have memories.
Yes, memories can be associated with shoes.
I know I should set them free - but what about the time I was wearing the slut shoes and I fell in the gut- actually I will set those fuckers free - that was damn right embarassing, or how I went up to Auckland and bought some styli sneakers for a fraction of the cost? MEMORIES. Like the corner of my mind.
I think thats the wrong words - cause corner of my mind? Is that where the cat hair and dust piles up??
Uh anyway... - I am going somewhere with this... with the weight loss, my shoes are looser.
Wierd huh. I guess that your feet are one of those places you don't really associate with dieting effects.
Countdown to weigh in: 6 days
So, set my alarm for 6pm yesterday - woke up at 7.15 - missed my weigh in... I'm really pissed off at myself.
Stupid alarm.
Countdown to weigh in: 6 days
Monday, November 24, 2003
So originally my goal was to lose 15 kilos by Tarn's wedding.
I've lost 8.2* (slight 200** gram gain last week, but thats okay. I'm back on track now) so far - and the wedding is 5 weeks away. Now, while I'd love to hit that 15*** kilo mark - to lose 6.8**** kilos in five weeks is a fucking ridiculous goal - thats the kind of eating that leads to binging in my opinion (no purging though, can't throw up to save my life) - and with the silly season coming closer (next weekend - friday night, work xmas party - saturday night, pandyr's xmas party - sunday, picnic work thing), there's no way I could, or even would, discpline myself to that degree.
So - I'm not far off the 10% of my (old) fat(ter) self mark, and I figure if I can achieve this by the wedding, then thats good enough for me.
I discovered my cellphone has a handy converter. Not sure if its really that handy, but for you 'mericans who read this, now I'm speaking your language. ; )
Countdown to weigh in: 5 days
Thursday, November 20, 2003
I'm quite nervous about weigh in tomorrow. It's a 7am meeting. ARGH. My 5pm Wed one was cancelled, and I wasn't told - they have our address and phone numbers, so I'm a bit pissed off. I emailed them to ask them what was going on, but they haven't bothered to email me back. As much as this pisses me off, I know that this programme is the one that works for me (after all Jenny Craig, the Natural Way etc - I always put the weight back on), so I can't complain too loudly - but if you were a new person, you'd really be put off coming back I reckon.
Wish me luck!
Countdown to weigh in: 1 days
My loser magnet is back. I don't know what it is, but wherever I go, the loser to end all losers at that particular place will come and talk to me.
The other day I was sitting in the alley outside work reading and this guy stopped.
He's in his 50/60s with a HUGE belly.
'Good book?'
'Ye-' (can't get the full word out as he has to continue)
'Bet you its not as good as the love affairs I had in 1951!!!!'
'heh yeah' (hanging head hoping he will get the fuck away)
'I worked in that bar there, and I tell you I would come stand in this very alley, and women would come on to me - I had more women than I had hot dinners'
'cool' (fuckoff fuckoff fuckoff)
He fucks off.
Maybe I am projecting a more confident air or something. Can anyone tell me how to stop it?
Countdown to weigh in: 1 days
Sunday, November 16, 2003
Okay - think I have added a comments box (stole that idea off LB - thanks chick)
Give it a whirl.
I missed weigh in this week due to the meeting I go to being cancelled. They told us it would be in two weeks... and this was the week I thought it would still be running so I'm quite pissed off. I emailed ww as the time etc is still on the website and still haven't heard back. They also have address and phone numbers for us but no one bothered to get in touch. It fucked me off no end... so I think I will go to the 7am brekky meeting with the same leader on Fridays.
Hey you always weigh less in the morning right? heh.
Countdown to weigh in: 6 days
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Argggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Eight weeks.
Countdown to weigh in: Still three days
Well, I only lost 400 grams this week - not much in the grand scheme of things, but better than a gain!
Went with Tarn to pick out bridesmaid dresses. Am quite scared that in eight weeks, I'll be in a strapless number having photos done, and standing in front of people watching two great friends get married.
