Saturday, December 20, 2003

I was reading threads at one of my favourite sites today, and one of the regulars was talking about how she found a teen diary site quite frightening.

I'm not writing about teen music, mary-kate and ashley, or which boy is cuter in math class. I'm talking about the anorexia (ana) sites.

I throughly depressed myself today in looking at sites where girls are starving themselves. They have pictures - skeleton style ribs, jutting hipbones, angular necks...

and this...

Pro-Ana Commandments

1. If you aren't thin you aren't attractive.
2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.
3. You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
4. Thou shalt not eat without feeling guilty.
5. Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.
6. Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.
7. What the scale says is the most important thing.
8. Losing weight is good - gaining weight is bad.
9. You can never be too thin.
10.Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.

So because if I take this seriously I may start crying and not have the ability to stop, I'd like to take this opportunity to piss-take the Ana Commandments...

Commandments of a Fat Girl Dieting.
1. You are beautiful. Yes you. We're all different - and there's a reason they make clothes in all sizes.
2. Being healthy is far more important than how much you weigh.
3. Treat yourself right - so you're XX kilos/pounds overweight? Don't hide - get your hair done, get your nails done, buy sexy lingerie (they do make it in our sizes) and be confident.
4, 5 and 6. You feel like pizza? Great - have two slices and enjoy them - don't scarf a whole one then feel guilty for the next two weeks. Eat whatever you want - BUT IN MODERATION aka Thou shall eat sensibly.
7. How you feel is the most important thing.
8. When you feel comfortable - stop dieting. Maintain.
9. You can eat what you want and lose weight. (it's the moderation thing people).
10. Eating and maintaing the right weight for your height and build are the signs of true will power and success.

Curves are sexy and soft. You are woman.

Countdown to weigh in: 7 days

Friday, December 12, 2003

I'm 800 grams away from losing 10 kilos.


I'm a little excited.

Countdown to weigh in: 7 days

Saturday, December 06, 2003


I love shoes. LOVE them. Not Imelda love- but fairly close.

In fact, the Pandyr has said that I am not allowed any more shoes until I liberate some from the closet. And yes, there are some I can't/won't ever wear again. But they have memories.

Yes, memories can be associated with shoes.

I know I should set them free - but what about the time I was wearing the slut shoes and I fell in the gut- actually I will set those fuckers free - that was damn right embarassing, or how I went up to Auckland and bought some styli sneakers for a fraction of the cost? MEMORIES. Like the corner of my mind.

I think thats the wrong words - cause corner of my mind? Is that where the cat hair and dust piles up??

Uh anyway... - I am going somewhere with this... with the weight loss, my shoes are looser.

Wierd huh. I guess that your feet are one of those places you don't really associate with dieting effects.

Countdown to weigh in: 6 days

So, set my alarm for 6pm yesterday - woke up at 7.15 - missed my weigh in... I'm really pissed off at myself.

Stupid alarm.

Countdown to weigh in: 6 days

Monday, November 24, 2003

So originally my goal was to lose 15 kilos by Tarn's wedding.

I've lost 8.2* (slight 200** gram gain last week, but thats okay. I'm back on track now) so far - and the wedding is 5 weeks away. Now, while I'd love to hit that 15*** kilo mark - to lose 6.8**** kilos in five weeks is a fucking ridiculous goal - thats the kind of eating that leads to binging in my opinion (no purging though, can't throw up to save my life) - and with the silly season coming closer (next weekend - friday night, work xmas party - saturday night, pandyr's xmas party - sunday, picnic work thing), there's no way I could, or even would, discpline myself to that degree.

So - I'm not far off the 10% of my (old) fat(ter) self mark, and I figure if I can achieve this by the wedding, then thats good enough for me.

*18 pounds
** 0.4 pounds
*** 33 pounds
**** 15 pounds

I discovered my cellphone has a handy converter. Not sure if its really that handy, but for you 'mericans who read this, now I'm speaking your language. ; )

Countdown to weigh in: 5 days

Thursday, November 20, 2003

I'm quite nervous about weigh in tomorrow. It's a 7am meeting. ARGH. My 5pm Wed one was cancelled, and I wasn't told - they have our address and phone numbers, so I'm a bit pissed off. I emailed them to ask them what was going on, but they haven't bothered to email me back. As much as this pisses me off, I know that this programme is the one that works for me (after all Jenny Craig, the Natural Way etc - I always put the weight back on), so I can't complain too loudly - but if you were a new person, you'd really be put off coming back I reckon.

Wish me luck!

Countdown to weigh in: 1 days

My loser magnet is back. I don't know what it is, but wherever I go, the loser to end all losers at that particular place will come and talk to me.

The other day I was sitting in the alley outside work reading and this guy stopped.

He's in his 50/60s with a HUGE belly.

'Good book?'
'Ye-' (can't get the full word out as he has to continue)
'Bet you its not as good as the love affairs I had in 1951!!!!'
'heh yeah' (hanging head hoping he will get the fuck away)
'I worked in that bar there, and I tell you I would come stand in this very alley, and women would come on to me - I had more women than I had hot dinners'
'cool' (fuckoff fuckoff fuckoff)

He fucks off.

Maybe I am projecting a more confident air or something. Can anyone tell me how to stop it?

Countdown to weigh in: 1 days

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Okay - think I have added a comments box (stole that idea off LB - thanks chick)
Give it a whirl.

Countdown to weigh in: days

Oh yeah - sign up for this!
I missed weigh in this week due to the meeting I go to being cancelled. They told us it would be in two weeks... and this was the week I thought it would still be running so I'm quite pissed off. I emailed ww as the time etc is still on the website and still haven't heard back. They also have address and phone numbers for us but no one bothered to get in touch. It fucked me off no end... so I think I will go to the 7am brekky meeting with the same leader on Fridays.

Hey you always weigh less in the morning right? heh.

Countdown to weigh in: 6 days

Sunday, November 09, 2003


Eight weeks.

Countdown to weigh in: Still three days
Well, I only lost 400 grams this week - not much in the grand scheme of things, but better than a gain!

Went with Tarn to pick out bridesmaid dresses. Am quite scared that in eight weeks, I'll be in a strapless number having photos done, and standing in front of people watching two great friends get married.

Need to knuckle down....

Countdown to weigh in: 3 days

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I got sent some American candy on the weekend. (Which actually I still have to say thanks for - best I write that email shortly) - anyway - I ate it all. In one go.

Good news is I still lost weight this week - Walked three days, and went to the gym today - although only really went on the rowing machine and the bike but hey - at least I got there.

Also - I am about to get really serious about this excercise shit. After all - I'm now a bridesmaid at Tarn's wedding. ARGH. I don't want to have bingo arms in the pictures!!!

Countdown to weigh in: 8 days

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Just chucked another new link on.

Also, you may have a bad moment, where you scarf down three candy bars, some chips and mcdee's, but you can always start eating right again at your next meal.
I love Wednesdays, but I also dread them.

It's the middle of the week, you're getting closer to two days off, but... it's weigh in day.

It's funny, I walk in to WW, pay my money, and get ready to get on the scales. Every week I think I haven't done well, and nearly every week I surprise myself with a loss.

Today, 800 grams. That gets me up to 6.7 kilos.

I had lunch with some old workmates today. We catch up for lunch once a week. Today one of them told me she could see it in my face. (The loss). She said I'm getting my checkbones back. My dimples also seem to have returned.

Go me!

Countdown to weigh in: 8 days

Sunday, October 19, 2003

And I've also chucked in what I've currently lost (or gained, cause I can't be perfect every week no matter how hard I try.

I'm walking to work now at least 3 times a week - thats 7 x 3 bonus points I try not to eat, although sometimes you can't help it. I refuse to give up the foods I love, but sometimes its hard to remember that moderation is the key.
Okay, so I've updated my blog so you can see my total weight loss or gain at a glance. Wheeee
Okay so I know I haven't posted for over a week - I had a minor gain (300 grams), but this week had a loss of 1.4. which takes my total weight loss so far to 5.9 kilos.

Got my bookmark, which sits up at work on my computer. I'm so proud of myself.

Now what should I buy for a reward???

Countdown to weigh in: 4 days

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Weigh in last night. I lost 600 grams, which means I have two hundred grams to go before I've lost 5 kilos. I'm pretty happy with that.

We got this cool bonus points slider thingy - you pull out the ammount of time you do excercise for under a light, moderate or intense rule, then go down to the weight you are and it tells you how many points you earn for doing whatever excercise you do. No wonder when I have bad weeks I still lose weight. Walking to work earns me 7 bonus points.

Tarn and I are considering doing the Special K triatholon in Feb with some of the others from our group. Our leader is co-ordinating between three groups to get interested people together to train. Only thing is we're not sure about the swim. However it is in February, so it will be warm - but swimming in the sea? Not my strong point.

Countdown to weigh in: 7 days

Sunday, September 28, 2003

So I've had a shocker of a weekend, if you read my non-weight loss blog you'll know why.

The thing is, after something like that I'd usually go and eat. And eat. And eat.

But my mindset seems to be changing. I don't want to eat comfort food. I want to clean the house then go for a big long walk and get rid of my anger that way.

I also drank several rtd's last night. At three points a go, I need to go for a walk.

And I love to walk in the rain.

Countdown to weigh in: 4 days

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Well, I'm back from my meeting and I had a loss of 1.7 kilos. Not entirely sure how I managed it, but the Pandyr thinks it may have been the fact that I've been walking to work, and climbing the stairs, and wandering round our massive building. I think so too.

Every night after weigh in I text a couple of mates and my mum to let them know how I've done. It's a good motivator. 10.8 kilos until I reach my first goal of a 15 kilo loss. I'm pretty happy right now, but I do know that a loss that high isn't that good for my body. Once I get under the first 15 (thats almost rugby orientated), I know I'll start slowing down. It's healthy to lose around 500 grams a week - and while I'm estatic right now, I know that a slower loss means a greater chance of keeping it off once I reach goal.

There's a woman at our meetings who has lost 60 kilos. 60 KILOS. She looks great but she's not ready to quit yet, and wants to reach goal. She gets some negative comments like 'I think you look great, isn't it time you stopped, but she's determined to keep going.

If she can do it, so can I.

Wish me luck.

Countdown to weigh in: 8 days

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

I just typed a lovely thoughtful post on weight loss and blogger ate it.

Oh well, you'll never really know if I did or not ;)

Countdown to weigh in: 1 day
Well, weigh in tomorrow, which always brings a slight feeling of dread.

If I haven't lost I know why - I've not been the best this week - not eating any free point food as snacks, which I will remedy next week (things like cucumber, carrots etc) and if I have, it will be a bit of a shock, although I have been walking to work.

It doesn't help either that I haven't been planning my meals properly. Think I might have to pick up a ww cookbook, and steal some dinner recipies from there.

Countdown to weigh in: 1 days

Sunday, September 21, 2003

I hate it when you post and it doesn't show up. Fkin blog. grr.

Countdown to weigh in: three days

Saturday, September 20, 2003

If any of you know how to put my email address in my template please email me at with instructions. thx
So, last night I went out drinking with my workmates. I was on my fourth bicardi and diet coke, when I clicked - they're serving doubles - thats 8 points. Fuck.

Oh well, I had fun, and at least I can roll those excess points on to my next couple of days (ie eat a bit less - or eat more no point foods).

I think I'm getting the hang of this now. I haven't had any chocolate cravings, but I think thats because of the spirilina. The Pandyr is making me walk to work, which I really enjoy, and I'm saving those extra points, so if I do have a blowout, I don't have to worry.

I made a virtual model of myself here and I put in the right weight and damn she looks way better than I do. I can't wait to compare it to when I've lost my first 15 kilos.

Countdown to weigh in: Four days

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Day One - Week Three

Well I lost 700 grams over the last week - I'd expected to do a lot worse, so I'm happy with that. That takes it now to 2.5 kilos lost. gone. bye. yay.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Day Six - Week Two

Well its weigh in day tomorrow. Eek.

Ate over my points today due to me not being able to resist a foot long subway chicken. With bbq sauce. But lots of vegies, including gerkins. mmmm.

Oh the 1.8 kilo loss of last week converts to just about four pounds.

This week I think we get a converter thing - you slide in the kjs and fat and it works out the points. Woohoo.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Day Four - Week Two

I'm having a bad week. I'm not sure why. I guess it will work out on weigh in day. I've been okay today and yesterday - maybe me undereating my points will make up for over eating on Thursday and Friday.

Friday, September 12, 2003

Day Two - Week Two

I missed posting yesterday because the Pandyr took over the computer. Boys and their games. *yawn* I had a bad day too, with two pieces of pizza for lunch, although I would of eaten way more before I started this relearning to eat game (diet is such an evil word).

Fingers crossed I have a good weekend.

Countdown to weigh in - Five days

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Day Seven

Well week one is over and I have a huge loss of 1.8 kilos. I have no idea how to convert that into pounds, but lets just say lots.

I've got quite a lot to lose - and no I'm not comfortable mentioning how much just yet - at the moment I'm focusing on 15 kilos before Tarn's wedding in January. I think breaking it down into fairly achievable steps will help me - rather than focusing on the total amount.

On to week two... wheeeeee.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Day Six

Weigh in day tomorrow. I'm not too worried. I was thinking today about how much I used to eat compared to what I've eaten over the last six days, its considerably different - I'm not having breakfast, then a muffin, then lunch and a cake, then chocolate later, then dinner.

I'm being sensible.

The only other habbit I need to get into is getting my fat arse to the gym. Otherwise I'm gonna come out of this looking like a roly dog.

Coutdown to weigh in: One day

Monday, September 08, 2003

Day Five

I bought a tape measure today. You're supposed to measure your stomach, breasts, thighs, arms and neck. Neck?

Countdown to weigh in: Two days

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Day Four - Part Two

So I worked out why I'm so freakin hungry - its because the first week is Fast-tracked. Apparently this means that the first week you get enough points for your weight that you can survive, but you'll start eating the correct amount of points in week two. Mental note to self - read the books they give you at the meetings. It's all explained. Dickhead.

I weighed myself at Jamie's today. I think I've lost about three kilos. In four days. That just shows you the amount of crap food I was eating. I haven't had any chocolate. Or lollies. Or chips. Or alcohol. Wonder how long I can keep that up for?

Coutdown to weigh in: Still three days.
Day Four

All I can say is thank god for vanilla diet coke.

Countdown to weigh in: Three days

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Day Three

Okay so its only breakfast time, and I'M NOT HUNGRY!

Of course the mcdee's pancakes and hot chocolate (6.5 points - or is it 7 - shit) have helped.

How come I'm not as hungry on the weekend??

Countdown to weigh in: Four days.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Okay so this is day one of the new weight watchers lifestyle.

Fuck I'm hungry.

I only ate 20.5 points - my daily allowance is 20. Jumped on the scales (well not jumped, cause I would of fallen through the ceiling and into level two) and got the shock of my life at the weight I was.

Out damn kilos. Out. Or off. Whatever.

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