One year on....

Yesterday was the anniversary of a devastating earthquake that hit Christchurch, New Zealand at 12.51pm, Tuesday the 22nd of February 2011.

It's been a day of tears and remembrance.

When the quake struck, I was dying to go to the bathroom - I was on the third story of our work building in Victoria Street - loading in ads for a client. I had about ten to go and I was about to finish the one I was working on, hit the toilet and then go out and get food. Next thing, I'm getting the shit shaken out of me, and somehow I am on the floor, fingers trying to dig into the carpet to hold on. I can hear everyone yelling and the noise of things flying and breaking around us.

This plant actually broke over my legs, I had a crazy bruise for weeks afterwards.











This was my desk, everything on it landed on top of me, including a heavy metal file thing, that bruised my arm like crazy. I was driving home and couldn't figure out why my arm was aching.








When it stopped, I was too scared to turn around as I thought surely the front of the building had collapsed. I couldn't understand how I was still on the floor. The Account Manager came up behind me and started patting my shoulders asking if I was okay. I had to catch my breath before I could respond. As I got myself under control, I realised we were all in shock. And, I still needed to pee. I found my cellphone on the floor, and stood up. I got a call from my mum, and one from Andrew. They were okay. Andrew told me to get home and he would come as soon as he could. I knew it was bad, but I didn't realise how bad. We weren't sure what to do so wandered around making sure each other was okay and had our bags, phones and keys ready to go. I tried to call our Wellington office, thinking it must of been the Alpine fault. I couldn't get through.

As I went to put the landline phone back it rang, giving me a huge fright - and I answered, not in my usual chirpy manner but in a scared little kid voice 'Hullo??' 'Oh hullo,' said one of our directors... 'Is Bernard there?' 'Yes,' I replied, 'but we've just had a massive earthquake'. 'Oh, okay' he responded.

I found out later that he had been trying to organise a conference call and wasn't really listening to me - and there were a few people on the line - they then realised it was serious as they could hear the aftershocks rattling our building, and Bernard told them one of the girls had a few cuts on her legs as she was in the kitchen and all our glassware had smashed. (Never have cupboards that don't have doors!).

We decided it was time to get the hell out of there - but I still had to pee. I asked one of the girls to open the bathroom door, I couldn't get my fat body through as the mirror had fallen behind it making it barely passable for a skinny person. She did that, and as I went to go in, another wicked aftershock hit and I fell over again. Rather than risk it, I decided to just hold on and go when I got home. However, getting home turned out to be a bit harder than expected.

Walking to my car, I saw everyone out on the street. Some were covered in blood, some were in shock - everyone was sort of milling about, unsure about where to go and what to do. I seemed to be the only one moving - and when I got to my car, the car park was still full. There was a lady leaning against it, so I asked if she was okay. She told me she'd come up for the day from Timaru with her husband, and they had taken her parents to the casino for lunch. She told me to drive safely and she hoped everything was okay at home.

 On my way to the car - building damage.

 

I'm not sure what I was thinking walking so close to this....

Once in the mighty Mu (Daisy is her name), I tried to head my usual way home only to be turned back. Buildings were down, said the lady in the safety vest - you'll need to go down the one way system. Traffic was bumper to bumper, and there were no lights working. People were starting to walk. I had the radio on More FM, and I was listening to Stitchy, telling us to look after ourselves and get home as soon as we could. He was trying to stay on air, but then he said that he had been told to leave the building as it was too dangerous to stay. The radio went off air, so I searched until I found talkback.

That's when I found out that people had died.

I burst into tears. Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, realising that while I knew my mum and future husband were okay, I had no idea about my friends and the rest of my family. I had the window down, but all I could taste was dust.

 I lost it when I saw this garage - I couldn't understand it

This is liquefaction in action, you can see here, the silt coming up from underneath us.

As I got closer to home the traffic started thinning out a bit, but the closer I got the more worried I was about my dogs and the house. It appeared every brick building was in pieces, and then this was at the end of my street....

By that stage I was beside myself. Driving over the cracks in the roads, being on a bridge when an aftershock hits - super scary experience, but seeing a car in a hole down the end of your street? Insane!

When I got home I realised I couldn't get up the driveway. We live on a back section and our neighbours in fronts chimney had smashed all over the driveway. I parked and bolted up the drive and into the house and ran to the bathroom. Best pee ever. Then I walked back into my lounge and realised what a mess I'd come home to. The power was off, and so was the water.

Our fridge tried to get over to the stove.

I grabbed the dogs leads, and went outside and gave them huge pats and cuddles. Due to the damage in the kitchen I decided that going outside with them and talking to the neighbours would be a better option that sitting inside with no power or water and being alone. My neighbour in front appeared to be in shock, so I told him to hang on to the dogs while I went and got us some chairs and beers - of course, couldn't get into the kitchen to get beers, but did manage to grab chairs. When I came back out Dee was snuggling up to him and Reese was calmly lying at his feet. Animals make great stress / pat therapy.

We waited outside - it was very King of the Hill style, we had the dogs, deckchairs and some booze. My other neighbour tuned up and she bought out her radio. We sat listening in shock. And then we smelt something burning. We found out later that the CTV building had collapsed and was on fire. At the end of my street is one of the main ways to get further into the eastern suburbs. Traffic was bumper to bumper. I managed to get onto facebook a couple of times to post status updates...

'There's dust and silt everywhere a o'

'I'm ok, andrew too mum text me but no response from her traffic jammed dogs ok house trashed but not damaged'

'I can do status updates but not see replies. Still shaking neighbors gave me a coke but other neighbors chimney is all over my drive'

Andrew finally got home, and blocked off the kitchen so we could leave the dogs in the house. I went for a short walk around the block and the shops on Linwood Avenue looked like this. I hoped like hell they got out of that block of shops, especially the people who worked in the fish and chip shop on the end.

We spent half the night in the lounge lying on the couches, listening to the radio in the dark.Our cellphones ran out of juice and the laptop went flat. We had no idea what had happened in the central city and still didn't know if all of our friends were okay.

'Still no power/water in my hood. We're on our wAy to qt's house with our dogs, thanks guys. Ps all wedding whitebait is being eaten as it's defrosting. Stink.'

Our best friends Q&T had picked up their dogs and headed off to the coast - so they offered us their house. The drive out to our seemed to take ages. Once there it was a relief to have a shower, and check my bruises...

(arm)

The portal to hell in my leg.

Phones charged, messages started coming through.. I could finally see on the TV what had happened to my beautiful city - on facebook I was sharing photos of the missing - some of them had died. And I finally heard that my friends were all okay - including the ones that worked at the Christchurch Press - that partially collapsed during the quake.

It was an incredibly surreal experience. I learnt a lot about myself - that in a crisis, I can keep my head and focus on what I need to do, and I am good at helping others to try and be calm. I am a lot stronger than I think. That empathy for others is not a weakness but a strength, that there is nothing wrong with doing what you need to do and if tears are streaming down your face, so fucking what. 

I feel incredibly blessed that my friends and family made it through this horrible experience. I am sure some of them saw some horrifying things. 

I stood in Hagley Park yesterday, with my workmates, and the people of Christchurch. I listened as the names of the deceased were read. Tears streamed down my cheeks - I recognised the names of the ones I had shared on my facebook page when they were only missing - and those tears kept coming during our two minutes of silence.

We will never forget.

For more reading about that day as seen through others eyes you can read these blogs:

ThriftyGifty - my beautiful friend Alyna

Knotty - My friend Ian - his wife Sarah (my friend) worked in the Press building and I was terrified she was injured or gone.

Wednesday weigh-in

Wasn't as horrible as I thought - 600 grams off, so just over half a kilo. I am 100 grams away from having lost 15 kilos since I started this journey last year. 100 grams!

Motivation Monday on Tuesday (whoops)

I would do well to remember this. I had an incredibly lazy week - Wednesday I flew to Wellington for work, so left home at 6.30am and didnt get back until 10pm that night. So that is a fair call, I mean a day that long there really is no time - I did wander round the airport but probably not enough to count. Thursday was Andrew's last night in the country, so by the time I got out of bed (tired) there was no time to exercise and then when I got home, our friend Ged (who he has gone to the USA) with turned up. So we ended up having a takeaway dinner and a chat. Friday it was up early again to take them to the airport - I stayed and had breakfast until they had to board. Didn't make a very good choice, and it wasn't very tasty so won't be doing that again; then met a friend for lunch; and had a light dinner - but again no working out. While I stayed pretty true to my calories, the food choices I made were not really that great.

Saturday, where we're supposed to smash out a super session, was also a bit of a bust - a friend came round for a walk at 7am then I had to head off to the hairdresser to get my regrowth tended to before I go the US (two weeks, but who is counting!), then I met another friend for lunch, and went home and went to the neighbours who invited me for a BBQ dinner.

Sunday, my awesome friend Sarah (she of the Saturday 7am walk) and I decided to do the St Martins steps. These things are insane. We went up, then walked down around the road, and went back up them again, and then down them. Ow. 

Monday I did a boxing session, and today I did some weights this morning, then after work managed to burn an 400 calories, by adding some sprints to my walk. (as well as some hard core shower cleaning and a vacuuming). Hopefully that will negate the two pieces of pizza I had at lunch. I told myself I could have one, and bought a salad, but it was just so good, I snarfed down a second. I did take a good five minutes to really think about it though - and to be perfectly honest, in the past I would of downed an entire pizza without thinking and ended up feeling sick. I think the adjustment to two slices is a good compromise, and while I know it wasn't the best choice I could make, the reality is I still sometimes want to be able to enjoy myself without feeling guilty about it. It doesn't help that it was a supplier funded lunch that came with a presentation so it wasn't like I couldn't be there!

Weigh in tomorrow could be interesting - I'm not expecting massive movement, but I know why and I accept that. It's been a full on week (dog had surgery, and then managed to open her wounds up again) but I haven't eaten an entire cake like my devil-mel would like me to; (which is how I used to cope with stress), I shut that bitch up with a serious talking to - and a promise of a treat meal on Saturday.

Wish me luck!

Blogger Challenge - Week One

As previously mentioned I signed up for the blogger challenge. Last round I started out with good intentions but I pretty much stopped writing about it half way through. Thing is though, I actually get a lot out my head by just saying it here.

So first Friday challenge questions and answers are:

Tell us a little bit about yourself.  What makes you, you?

I am a bit of a nut. I'm shy, but if there are shyer people around me then I will talk it up. I'm scared, but I put my challenge with my weight on the interwebs for the world to see. I talk too much - but never about the important (or secret) things. I'm a wife (ha) of almost a year (although my husband and I have been together for about 15 years or so) and I live with two beautiful boxers, and two annoying cats. I read - crazy fast reader actually - so even when the tv is on, usually my nose is stuck in a book. Right now my favourite colours are pink and orange - I love to bake. I clearly love to eat.

Why did you decide to do the 12WBT? 

I did round three of 2011 and decided that I actually need to take a year out and dedicate it to myself. The whole year. I plan on signing up for all three rounds this year. I want to lose an entire person off my body.

What are you hoping to achieve through the program? 

The ability to think before eating; that exercise becomes an addictive habit, and of course weight loss.

Why have you decided to blog about the 12WBT? What will be the main focus (eg, food, exercise, a bit of everything?) 

It's a bit of everything. I think its a good way to write out your thoughts that sometimes you need to see written down. Also its keeping me honest.

How will you be exercising this round? Gym, home, outdoors or a mixture?

Outdoors and at home.

What is your greatest strength that will help you?

I think its my ability to make a joke out of everything. Some exercises are just not physically possible in this body but I always come up with a joke and a laugh about it and figure out what I can do. 

What are you afraid of? 

Failure

What are you looking forward to the most over the next 12 weeks?


New menus, new clothes and seeing my body change.

What is your downfall? Food? Exercise? How will you overcome this?

I'm quite good at procrastination. Also I love sweet foods. So to counteract I plan things, load the DVD the night prior, organise group workouts. The sweet thing I'm still battling - trying for lower calorie treats.

If you had to pick one word to motivate you over the next 12 weeks, what would you choose?

 JFDI!

Yes!

I'm 500 grams (almost 1 pound) under the helicopter weight limit. I will be buying tickets on Friday. And then making sure I get down as much as I can before we go! YAY.

Day One again!

So today is the start date of round one of 2012's 12wbt. I am committing to doing all three rounds this year and really focusing on myself - my own health and wellbeing - and looking out for me. I've been hiding in this body for far to long and its time to get rid of the flab and be myself.

I'm also going to make sure to take part in this blogger challenge! 

 

And that's what I need to keep in mind on my honeymoon too!

Wednesday weigh in

YES! 900 grams gone this morning. I admit to eating 1470 cals instead of 1200, but that will change next week with the programme starting. Am looking forward to my menu plan which comes out tomorrow.

I got up early this morning to do a workout, but am still stuck by the computer, so that's not a good thing. I'll think I need to get the dvd ready the night before so I can roll out of bed and go straight to it!

Last night when I left for my walk I got the corner and it started bucketing down. It was ridiculous. I text Andrew to tell him so, and he told me to harden up. I said I was hiding under a tree, and he told me to run. So I did. Not the whole way - not using c25k, but every street I ran at least one lampost length. And not the jog I do usually, but a proper run - where I focused on breathing. It was awesome. I think the c25k isn't working for me because its about timing. I end up going slower and slower - where picking a lampost and going as fast as I can while focusing on breathing rather than time, really worked last night.

Eventually I know the C25K will work because I'll be able to run and breathe rather than run and die, but am going to stick to the lampost method for a while. Every walk I commit to running at least one lamp post length on every street. I am determined to be able to run 5k at some stage, but for now I need to work on the technique.

400 grams away to helicopter goal!

Helicopter Motivation Monday! (?)

So I went a bit quiet there, but only because I have been super busy. Last Wednesday I climbed a hill that then turned into a 5km walk and just about died - Thursday I was lazy, Friday even lazier, then Saturday did that same damn hill four times, going a little further each time, thanks to the push from our personal trainer.

Thought I might need a nana nap after that morning, but managed to stay awake, and then Sunday did an 11km walk with a couple of friends - my calves were burning at the end of it. I ended up having a huge nana nap in the afternoon then followed that up with a ten hour sleep. Crazy. Today I was also pretty quiet with another nana nap - I never thought I would be one of those people who sleeps in the middle of the day, but clearly my body needed the time to recover. I burnt a fair few calories and admit to having a sneaky peak on the scales this morning and getting excited - but will wait for Wednesday just in case.

Anyway motivation for this week:

 

I know you're thinking - WTF? A helicopter for motivation?? But it turns out I am about 800grams (as of this morning) away from being the maxium weight limit to be able to fly into the grand canyon via helicopter on my honeymoon (without having to pay for another seat).

I have been talking about this for ages, and I think I was sabotaging myself a little as I am scared of heights, but I know how much Andrew would love to do this, plus instead of being stuck in car to drive there from Vegas (around a 10 hour trip), we'd only need about 4.5 hours or so. It's a little expensive, but everyone I have spoken to who has done it says it really is worth it. 

So I need to suck up my fear. In 2011 I lived with destruction, death, friends moving away, houses and roads being broken, and being shaken about like a polaroid picture -so to be scared of a helicopter seems, well, a little lame.

I'd like to lose another 5.8 kilos before I go. I know its achievable, I just have to get out there and JFDI.

12wbt Round 1 starts next week, so if you haven't signed up yet and are keen to, visit now! Roll on Thursday when our first weeks meal plans and shopping lists come out!!

I did it!!!! In your face lard!!!

So motivation Monday is usually an image to inspire, but instead.....

I FLIPPEN DID IT! I walked 101.02 km in January. I am so proud of myself right now, you have no idea. I can't stop smiling! I actually took a goal and smashed it! It is possible!!!!!

Chef Sunday (Brown rice salad with feta)

So I know I said I would add recipes to my blog and I have been incredibly slack and haven't - but look here's the first one! With a photo! And its super fast, easy and YUM. Plus you can tweak ingredients to suit.

I've made this tonight for a bbq I'm going to - it feeds about 4-6 as part of a main meal - I've guestimated 8 serves out of the giant bowl I made it in so around 136 calories - but of course this will depend on the feta as you may like to add a bit more depending on your taste. It's also good with aged cheddar (but maybe not for calories with that tweak). Anyway....

Brown rice salad with feta

2 packets of sunrise brown rice (90 second stuff)
1/2 block of feta cheese
1 punnet of cherry tomatoes, or a couple of large tomatoes if you have those around instead
1 cup or so of frozen green beans
1 red onion (I used half because I find it too strong) or you could use spring onions instead
some low fat french dressing

Blanch the beans (you know, when you pour boiling water over them and then chuck them in icy cold water - like when Christchurch people head to Hanmer hot pools in summer).

While that's going on and your beans are getting cold - cook the rice in the micrwave and start chopping up your feta, onions and tomatoes. How fine you do it all is up to you, but I like tiny bits of onion and feta and then big hunks of tomato.

Once the rice is cooked, chuck it in your serving bowl and pour over 2 tablespoons of your dressing. I use french as I like the tang, but you could experiement with others. Chuck in the veges and cheese and toss. Add two more tablespoons of dressing and mix up a bit more.

Pop it in the fridge and you're done! How easy is that! My husband likes to add a bit more dressing once it's on his plate.

I think I got this from an ad on TV for one of the supermarkets, like the food in a minute ones. And we tested it on one of our special needs (aka vegetarian) friends who said it was delish. I'll let you know how it goes down tonight and if I get to bring home an empty bowl :)

Weekend!

So Saturday I met up with an awesome group of people doing round one of 12wbt. We had a training session down at a local park. We played games, chucked some tires around, ran round the park, did pressups, it was great.

Today I got up and added another 5.8km to my January total., only 6km to go with two days left in the month.

I haven't been writing as much this week - with doing a few walks after work by the time I get home I have enough energy left to eat and then crash out.

This is a hard journey I have set myself. It was easy to put the weight on, easy to make bad choices, easy to just eat whatever I wanted, easy to say 'I'll do it later' and then not do it at all. The excuses I would make 'I had a hard day at work, I need comfort food, I'm too tired to exercise, I can't be bothered, I'll go twice as hard tomorrow (yeah SURE you will), I'm not that big, I'm not that fat, I'm too unfit, I have pcos so it doesn't matter anyway - I won't be able to lose the weight....'

Sometimes those voices are still there, and I have to argue with them and push myself out the door. You can see if you look at my January kms, Thursday I was exhausted so gave myself the day off, Friday I planned to go, and then managed to talk myself out of it but I promised myself I would clean the bathroom and vacuum instead, which, I didn't even do - Saturday I had training so didn't walk, today I made the effort and I hurt now, but I feel great. Plus I burnt 400 calories.I just have to remember that feeling. Or encourage myself to JFDI for ten minutes and then I can turn around and come back - because ten minutes in usually I have my stride on, the music pumping and feel compelled to keep going.

YES!

There is nothing more disheartening then seeing your weight go up then down then up from week to week. But this morning I think I've cracked it. With a 1.6 kilos lost, that puts me under my last weigh in from the end of round three - and tracking at 12.5 kilos all up. YES! Now I feel amped for the rest of the week, as opposed to stabby (like last week). I am going to kick ass.

Motivational Monday

I fully agree with this statement. This might be one of the ones I need to print out and add to a motivational board. Day 2 of Shred completed this morning and a walk planned for after work. I have nearly 29km to churn out by next Tuesday. eek.

I've just set myself up with a meal plan for the week. I've contacted a personal trainer to see if he would be interested in helping myself and some of the team doing the 12wbt. Waiting to hear back from him, but in the meantime I've grabbed my diary and planned some exercise sessions. I've taken on another challenge that starts tomorrow - 30 days of shred. My February challenge is ready to go (29 days x 29 minutes of exercise every day + 29km walking). I'm about to go check my recipe books to look for low calorie meals to eat until the season starts - I'm going to blog about them too, adding in photos and the actual recipe in case others want to try them.

Its worth the effort.

Get Real (Task 2)

So task two of preseason is to combat excuses.

My biggest one is that I feel embarrassed about exercising in large groups. I keep getting invited to Zumba classes - which nearly everyone at work go to; and I just can't do it. I love dancing, but I'd prefer to do it in the comfort of my own home thanks. Although is saying that - my zumba dvd's have only ever been played about 4 times. For some reason, as much as I love to dance, I find doing a weights workout with Jackie, or sweating it out with Billy Blanks much more rewarding.

Last round, one of my goals was to run 5k by the end of the programme. I didn't achieve it. And the reason why is because I felt like people were looking at me when I ran. Because clearly, I am the centre of EVERYONE'S WORLD. Really, people couldn't give a shit about me running. I have no idea what those people are thinking - and why the hell should I even care?

The mind is a tricky thing. I have to force myself to run parts of my walking schedule. The weird thing is I love running, I remember doing cross country at school when I was a kid. But something about running in daylight as an overweight adult (and trust me you don't want to run in the dark in my neighbourhood) really makes me panic. I've completed week one of the c25k. I need to make sure I keep going - its a good way to get my km's in for January, and out of my comfort zone. I have to remember no one actually cares. Mostly they're probably thinking 'Good on her'.

Here we go again...

I've signed up for round one of the 12 week body transformation 2012. I have been dicking around about making a decision - mainly because with going to America it would be nice to have as much money as possible. But, I'm only in the US for three weeks, which means I still get 9 weeks of proper 12wbt; (plus preseason tasks) and three of me making the best of going to a place where food may be super super supersized and I may (ha) go a little out of control. However - every hotel we are booked into has a gym and in Vegas we are staying at one end of the strip in order to get a fair bit of walking in (fingers crossed).

While I know those three weeks are going to be tough, the posts I read tonight on the 12wbt messageboard made me enthusiastic about signing up again and getting ready to smash it. There are a lot of people (there are some men on the programme, but not as many as the women) who have had such great successes in the past and some who are so pumped about starting, that its catching and I'm sitting here super excited to get to week one!

So the first task is to introduce yourself. Most of the people that read my blog on purpose (other than stumbling over it from me linking to twitter, or pintrest (if you want an invite let me know)) are my friends and workmates. So you all know that we work in a stressful environment. What people from the 12wbt may not know (I link my blog there too) is that with the earthquakes chch has gone through, I work in a small space, in a residential area. I'm pretty sure the neighbours think we run some kind of phone sex operation, given that there are eight women and one bloke, and we make jokes about it all the time. Anyway, contributing to that is the fact that its easy to make bad food choices when you are hungry, haven't planned your food well enough for the day, and the closest food supply to you is the corner dairy. It's also hard to train from home given that our hills are no go zones - and some of our parks are a bit rough due to land damage - I'm not quite ready for a gym membership yet though - maybe closer to winter.

I also have PcOs. Which means that my body doesn't process food the same way someone who doesn't have it does. It can be harder for me to lose weight, easier for me to gain it, and some women with it suffer from acne and hair issues. (lucky I don't, even though my husband likes to take the piss and says that I do). It also causes me to have some fertility issues.

And I forgot the general stuff - Hi, my name is Mel, I'm 35, live in Christchurch, New Zealand with my husband (of not quite a year), our two boxer dogs (Reese and Dee) and our two cats (Molly and Fergus).

I'm looking forward to Round One 2012. I think its the push I need to make this year about me. My health, my fitness, my life.

Motivation Monday

It burns...

I hate being woken up suddenly. And when a 5.0 quake hits its definitely a bit of a shock to the system. Lying in bed hearing all your glasses rattle and hearing things fall - having a 26 kilo boxer leap on the bed to get between me and Andrew because she's scared, while a 32 kilo boxer is trying to get out so she can bark at old Ma Nature - it doesn't make for the best nights sleep. It took ages to go out again - thinking 'is that it; is another one coming; is it going to be bigger; is the TV okay?'. Its exhausting.

It also means that instead of getting up at 7am like I planned, I end up getting up at 8am but still managed to knock out a nearly two hour trek - 8.41km. Burnt 679 calories and am now on the downward slope of under 50km to trek for the rest of January.

This challenge was a crazy idea but its encouraged me to get out and move my ass so that's a good thing.

JFDI - J(ust) F(riggen, or ucken) D(o) I(t)

I had a serious case of the tireds this morning. Not sure if its because I couldn't get to sleep last night, had crazy dreams, a 4.2 earthquake, a cat trying to sleep on my pillow and just one of those BLAH nights. Usually after a night like that I'd try and stay in bed an extra hour, and then by the time I trot off to work would of helped myself to a red bull (along with some chocolate) to try and get my energy up for the day.

This morning, while I was exhausted and didn't get up to walk, I did get up, ate a fairly sensible breakfast ( I had a sculpt protein shake, but that's still okay) got ready for work, get there on time, and didn't drink the red bull. After work I managed a 5.46km walk (took me an hour) and burnt 434 calories.

Today's motivation was:

30km in to the 100km challenge. I've started weaving streets - ie walk up mine, then go down the next, then back up the next cross street and so on - it ads on extra km's without being too far from home so if anything does happen (which when you live in the shakiest damn city in the world you do get a bit paranoid) makes me feel a bit better about being able to get back to the girls (dogs) asap - rather than being miles away.

Its awful though, walking the broken streets, with the holes in the roads, missing or slumping houses and sometimes a bit of paranoia creeps in when you're walking under one of the few remaining awnings... but this is my home - I love my city, and all the broken-ness of it; even though sometimes I find it tough going and I bitch and moan and make noise about leaving.

I keep thinking I should take photos of what I am seeing, but if it was my house I would feel violated so I don't. But maybe on an early morning walk I could take a few shots. And keep them. This is part of our history now, as horrible as it is. But I know Christchurch will come back stronger. 

Monday....

This made me giggle.

Cake is a liar. Even if it is tasty.

3.41km added this morning - 74.79km to go (eeeeek).

Motivation

is a funny thing. So is self sabotage (which I am quite good at). This morning I got halfway through what I thought would be my walk feeling really over it and not in the mood and debating about cutting out a few streets earlier than usual - but then a song came on my ipod that made me step up the pace and the next thing I knew I'd walked 6.62km and burnt over 500 calories. One song motivated me to keep moving. And that song....

Weird I know. Maybe its the beat or the guitar solos...

Now I just have to stop myself from eating those calories.

So one week in I've walked 21.8km with 78.2km to go.

Damn thats a big number!

Wednesday Weigh In

Its going down! The 2 kilos I put on after the challenge finished/xmas/earthquakes is 300 grams away from being GONE FOR EVER. Seriously, losing this weight twice is flippen annoying, and the worse part is that this is probably the third or forth time I've lost that same kilo. But no more.

So technically, my current weight loss is at 11.9 kilos. Pretty happy with that right now.

The 100km challenge has bought out my competitive nature. I've walked just over 10km in the last three days. This morning I got up at 5.45 and did a 4km walk. I am thinking I might do another walk tonight, but I do have to cook mum's birthday cake so I might not have time.

I have so many places I have to be accountable that I shouldn't fail. I log my food and exercise and calorie burns with myfitnesspal (username is melsienz if you want to add me); then I use runkeeper; imapmyfitness (for walking) or Ease into 5K (for helping me to learn to run) to track my km's. I log my km's on the facebook 12wbt NZ group and check out everyone else's numbers; log in to the back end of blogger to update that box over there ------>  and then if I have something to say I type a blog post, and sometimes I tweet it too. Phew.

Now its time for breakfast. I think I deserve a good feed today :)

So now that I have to be accountable...

I just went on a wee run/walk and took 2.56km off that 100km total. boom!

January Challenge

So, one of the awesome ladies in the NZ group of 12wbt set herself a goal of covering 100k in January. I'm going to join in too. Yes I know it only equates to 3k a day, but there will be some days where I don't get up and run (aka today - mutiple overnight aftershocks make for a very restless sleep and no energy - although I am going to attempt to go later tonight) so its still an achievable and measurable goal.

I'll set up a little box over there ----->   to keep an eye on myself :)

I'm back!

Here's the scoop - I have managed to pretty much maintain my weight since the end of 12wbt. I am planning on signing up for Round One 2012 and will do that on payday - and in the meantime, while I had fallen off a bit - today is a new day. I've already walked/run 6.5 k, completing day one, week one of the C25K. I burnt 235 calories and now I'm about to shower and then get to the supermarket to purchase some healthy options for breakfast, lunch and dinner. phew.

Its the end...

of the 12 week challenge, and overall I am pretty happy with my results. My final weigh in is tomorrow, and I will do my measurements again. I fell off a little in the last two weeks; with exercise and eating (and writing), but know that I did and have made a plan to combat it. I am hoping to reach 15 kilo loss by Christmas; its not that far off, I just need to get really focused.

I still need to go and purchase my 10 kilo loss reward. I have been hesitant to do so because I want the money for our honeymoon, but as a wise co-worker said to me - 'You've just ripped yourself off, its what you planned and now you haven't done it - which means its in the back of your mind and so you are setting yourself up to fail'. She's right.

Earrings here I come ;)

12.2 kilos!!

I can't believe it. I could actually get to 15 kilos in the next three weeks if I work hard. woohoo!

A little motivation.

I am supposed to burn 1000 calories every Saturday. I find it incredibly hard. Today I got closer than I ever have before.

Cracked it!

Last week I was pretty quiet on the blogging front. Weigh in was not great - it wasn't a gain, but it was the same weight as the week before. I had a bit of a toy throwing moment and decided to eat whatever the hell I wanted on Thursday - but the weirdest thing - I didn't want that much - and I can't eat that much anymore.

My friend and I went for dinner - I ordered a chicken burger - ate the chicken, half of a bun, the salad and half of the chips and I was stuffed full. In the old days I would of eaten all of it and then looked for dessert (and probably had three drinks as well).

I did have a frozen margarita though. And rather than sculling it down and ordering two more, I made it last throughout the meal.

Friday I weighed myself again and I was up 200 grams, Saturday and Sunday I was back to the Wednesday weigh in weight - aka those same damn numbers.

Monday - I'd lost 900 grams. Tuesday and Wednesday that number held fast. PHEW. (Given that I spent yesterday at Addington Cup Day (the one race I bet on with my own money I made a profit of $4.90 - super excited), and there was free drinks and super yum food) I'm pretty happy with that.

900 grams puts me past my 10 kilo reward and on track to have lost 10% of my body weight by the end of the 12 weeks. That is now my revised goal.

Wish me luck!

Monday - Week Eight

It seems crazy that the time is just flying by on this programme. I think people finally get it when I say 'It's not a diet, it is how normal people eat'. I (mostly) keep to my 1200 calorie limit, and I (try to) exercise 6 days a week. I track everything that goes into my mouth, including the sneaky bit of cake I ate today when I was feeling stressed. So my habits aren't perfect - and I don't expect to be perfect all the time. But I have learnt that if I eat that bit of cake, I need to account for it - by tracking the calories; and work it off - by exercising.

Given that I don't really feel like paying for a gym membership while we are trying to save as much money as we can for our honeymoon in March; I mostly work out using dvd's. Currently my favourite is Billy Blanks SOS (Sweat off the sizes); followed by Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. On Sunday I did both in a row, worked out for over an hour and burnt 400 calories. Today I just did 30 day shred and burnt 175.

I also use The Biggest Loser workouts (Bob makes me smile), and sometimes I do Jackie's Power Circuit, but she kind of scares me.

I forgot how much I like to feel the burn. The next day, even though I groan about sore muscles - I like it because I know it means something is happening. Same with sweat. As gross as it seems, feeling it running down your neck/in your hair, on your palms as you push another set through really makes me feel like I am achieving something.

My mum commented the other day on how I was looking good - and workmates have commented on my body changing. I can sort of see it but not really. On the 12wbt message boards someone posted they felt like they hadn't achieved much - but then decided to take photos to compare to the pre-season pics. She posted the pic of her back - then and now - and you could see the change. I think I might have to do the same thing. Although it won't be for public consumption  - I still find my body pretty horrifying - and I'm shocked at myself for not realising before how fat I had become. I mean, I know I have mirrors and could see by my clothing sizes, but its not the same when you are confronted with it - working through the issues that made me that way in the first place and admitting things to yourself that you haven't been able to - like my binge and emotional eating.

I feel like I have come a long way (baby), but I do have a long way to go. Fingers crossed I smash that 10 kilo goal on Wednesday, and then my next target is 10% of my body weight. Obviously if you are mathematical you can probably figure out how much I weigh(ed), but if you really want to know, just ask. I am proud of what I have achieved so far.

See you Wednesday!