Wednesday weigh-in

Wasn't as horrible as I thought - 600 grams off, so just over half a kilo. I am 100 grams away from having lost 15 kilos since I started this journey last year. 100 grams!

Cracked it!

Last week I was pretty quiet on the blogging front. Weigh in was not great - it wasn't a gain, but it was the same weight as the week before. I had a bit of a toy throwing moment and decided to eat whatever the hell I wanted on Thursday - but the weirdest thing - I didn't want that much - and I can't eat that much anymore.

My friend and I went for dinner - I ordered a chicken burger - ate the chicken, half of a bun, the salad and half of the chips and I was stuffed full. In the old days I would of eaten all of it and then looked for dessert (and probably had three drinks as well).

I did have a frozen margarita though. And rather than sculling it down and ordering two more, I made it last throughout the meal.

Friday I weighed myself again and I was up 200 grams, Saturday and Sunday I was back to the Wednesday weigh in weight - aka those same damn numbers.

Monday - I'd lost 900 grams. Tuesday and Wednesday that number held fast. PHEW. (Given that I spent yesterday at Addington Cup Day (the one race I bet on with my own money I made a profit of $4.90 - super excited), and there was free drinks and super yum food) I'm pretty happy with that.

900 grams puts me past my 10 kilo reward and on track to have lost 10% of my body weight by the end of the 12 weeks. That is now my revised goal.

Wish me luck!

So close!

This week I lost exactly one kilo, which puts me 300 grams away from 10 kilos. 300 grams. ARGH. However this means that next week I should SMASH IT - and then the next goal is 10% of my old body weight.

I have been a bit lax on the exercise lately - I've not been feeling very well and yesterday came home from work (after going in for about 10 minutes) and fell asleep for six hours. Then I read for a bit, cooked and ate dinner, then went to bed again and woke up with a sore throat. ugh.

The heart rate monitor is really inspiring though - every time I do wear it and work out I find myself going for a bit longer to burn those extra cals. I like to get it up to a round number, so rather than 250 cals burnt, take it to 300 - the other day I hit 450 so I took it to 500 -  its kind of fun in a weird way.

I still haven't figured out a list of 'rewards' yet, but I'm planning on taking some time out to do this tomorrow.

A new toy for weigh in day!

900 gram loss this week. Given that on Saturday Tarn and I had a free for all, although not as free as we would of before starting 12wbt, I'm pretty happy with that. I've now lost 8.7 kilos in 6 weeks. If I average it out by the end of the programme I should of lost around 16 -17 kilos, but the body is a fickle thing, and sometimes so is my mind, so I'll keep my fingers crossed and aim for 20 kilos - but I'd be happy to hit 15.

I got a new toy yesterday. A polar heart rate monitor. The 12wbt has deals on a few things and I wondered about getting one so after asking the members of the round 3 NZ group I thought it would be worth it. Tracking calories burnt and making sure I'm working out in the right zone (ie fat loss) is going to be very beneficial for me - plus I quite like round numbers, so if I was working out and could see that I had burnt 289 calories, its not hard to make that number 300. The best part though was the price - no gst (bought out of Australia) and 20% off + free shipping = score!

1.3 kilos until I hit my first 10kg goal. Hopefully the HRM will help me get there for next week.

7 kilos BYEEEEEEE

Yes, today's weigh in, while being one of my lowest losses so far (600 grams) puts me up to 7 kilos lost, in four weeks. I'm pretty happy with that. I know I can do more, and I know I'm going to have to be a bit more vigilant though - a few red flags (days where you know eating will be tricky due to social functions etc) coming up - I had one last night (posh dinner), one tonight (family dinner), one on Monday (co-workers birthday - we always get cake), a work function with nibbles and drinks on Thursday, next Saturday a baby shower, and the list goes on.

But its how you deal with these things that I think I never used to figure out. I'd just eat and eat and eat.

So tonight, I've checked the menu and will go for a healthy option of veges and chickens in a light sauce (like oyster), next Monday I will have a piece of cake, although only half of the serving and no other snacks and a light dinner. The work function I am organising so I'll be able to have input into the menu, but I will make sure to have a salad before I go and to have a snack free day so I can eat a little.

These are all things I guess normal people do without thinking about it. I guess I never learnt it before, but its better late than never.

It's Wednesday!

And you know what that means.... WEIGH IN.

And I lost another kilo, taking me up down by 6.4.I'm not quite sure how... (well I sort of am, someone on the NZ private message board for 12wbt explained basic metabolic rate and calories in and out and I kind of get it now). It's nice to see those numbers drop.

Next Wednesday its not only weigh in day but also measurement day so that will be interesting (I did sneakily measure one thigh this morning out of interest and 3cm's has vanished from it - so although my results aren't gasp-shockingly obvious, they will be soon!

Last night on the message board I posted this image and the below text to go with it.

I think that I am like hey I've lost five kilos, why hasn't anyone noticed - but if I'm honest with myself, its that five kilos is nothing compared to what I actually need to lose to look like a regular sized person. Of course no one is going to notice. I need to be patient, and that's where in the past I have gotten discouraged and failed.

And its true. I have been doing a bit of soul searching with this. Not only do I want to fit comfortably on a plane when we go honeymooning, but I also want a better quality of life. I want to get up and feel energised, I want to go out and not feel like everyone is staring (and most of the time they probably aren't - but it would be nice to not feel like they are). I want to fit into regular sized clothes. I want to be able to walk into shops and not wonder if they have sizes to fit me. I want to not obsess about food all the time. I want this way of life to be a natural thing, - and with time that will happen.

In response to my rant above, the lovely ladies in the group posted these messages of support.

Mel, keep sharing your losses and progress with us so that we can cheer you on because every little bit you lose should be acknowledged. And the great thing is that if you find that patience and keep at it you will eventually enjoy the feeling when your friends start to notice :-)

Mel - 5 kilos is amazing! Imagine that as a bag of potatoes! That is heaps! :)

A bag of potatoes. That is bloody heaps. In two weeks, thats massive. 

And so, this is not just a 12 week journey for me. I will sign up for the next round of the programme and probably the next and the next. 

I am going to smash my goals.

Failure to blog.

Its true. I've been hiding. I appear to be handle this way of eating at work. 

But alone. 

On a three day weekend. 

Not so much. 

It probably didn't help that a very dear friend dropped off some of her awesome home made russian fudge. And while I didn't scoff the entire lot in one sitting like I would of before starting 12wbt - I did eat. All of it. Over three days. Despite telling Andrew (hubby) and Mum and my friends that I will go and give it to the neighbours.

Fudge fail.

But I did cook every night I was on my own and I kept mostly to my 1200 calorie limit - only going over slightly.

And, today being weigh in day I was not expecting to lose 1.8 kilos. But I did. 

But how much more would it of been if I had behaved - and made the two exercise sessions I missed?

Temptation and Weigh in day!

So this morning it was weigh in day and I'm super stoked to report I dropped my lard by 3.6 kilos or 2.59%. Massive amount for only two real days of careful strict eating and exercise. I was pretty excited given that yesterday was so shit with the news of Dee*'s cancer being more serious then we thought and the probability that she's going to have to have chemo.

Today I also managed to do day 2 of week one of the C25K. And this time I jogged for the full nine minutes (as opposed to Monday's roughly 6 minutes of managing to keep the jogging up). Pretty impressed with myself right now!

We also had one of the media we deal with turn up at work today with a box of donuts. Beautiful donuts. I bunked the meeting and managed to keep away from them. It was really hard - but the amount of work I would have to do to burn that donut off kept me focused. It also helps that three people in my office of nine know what I am trying to achieve and I didn't want to blow it this early! Hopefully this will continue on - but I know there will be times where I do fail and I need to admit it, own it and move on. (and of course factor into my calories for the day).

Given that the environment I work in is very food focused (seriously, media bring us food constantly) - which when you don't give a shit about what you eat, is great - but when you're trying to make a seriously lifestyle change - its bloody hard. I reckon this is going to be one of my biggest challenges. But I'm determined to figure out a way to make it work and to deal with it.

Onwards and downwards! (on the scales)

* Dee is one of my two dogs. She's a brindle boxer we found at the pound that no one claimed. She is very loving, sweet and fun. This blows the big monkey. But we love her and would do anything to help her live a long happy life. She is one of our kids...

So its been a while. My pathetic blogging completely fell off. Lately I've had the urge to write again. My weight is down, I'm on a 1400 calorie a day plan, I see a personal trainer once a week - and I don't go to a gym. Instead I walk my dogs, run (yes fat chick running), do the biggest loser workout dvd, play on my wii-fit and do a circuit of weights. We've managed to score a punching bag, rowing machine and stationary bike, so occasionally I get on those as well.

Today I really want chocolate for breakfast. *sigh* I don't think this will ever get any easier, but I need to make the right decisions.

Yesterday I managed to run for three whole minutes, then I did it again (there was a break in between). I'm pretty freakin impressed with myself.

I just have to keep it up.