Motivate Monday

So true. Although my top is a HECK of a lot longer than the one on the chick in the picture ;)

All signed up for Round 2 of the 12wbt. Today has been super good, under calories, got in a 45 minute walk, +180 squats. The challenge of the next two weeks is to keep my kms up and also to do 30 squats before each meal/snack, meaning I should get to 90-180 squats per day. Eek.

Motivation Monday on Tuesday (whoops)

I would do well to remember this. I had an incredibly lazy week - Wednesday I flew to Wellington for work, so left home at 6.30am and didnt get back until 10pm that night. So that is a fair call, I mean a day that long there really is no time - I did wander round the airport but probably not enough to count. Thursday was Andrew's last night in the country, so by the time I got out of bed (tired) there was no time to exercise and then when I got home, our friend Ged (who he has gone to the USA) with turned up. So we ended up having a takeaway dinner and a chat. Friday it was up early again to take them to the airport - I stayed and had breakfast until they had to board. Didn't make a very good choice, and it wasn't very tasty so won't be doing that again; then met a friend for lunch; and had a light dinner - but again no working out. While I stayed pretty true to my calories, the food choices I made were not really that great.

Saturday, where we're supposed to smash out a super session, was also a bit of a bust - a friend came round for a walk at 7am then I had to head off to the hairdresser to get my regrowth tended to before I go the US (two weeks, but who is counting!), then I met another friend for lunch, and went home and went to the neighbours who invited me for a BBQ dinner.

Sunday, my awesome friend Sarah (she of the Saturday 7am walk) and I decided to do the St Martins steps. These things are insane. We went up, then walked down around the road, and went back up them again, and then down them. Ow. 

Monday I did a boxing session, and today I did some weights this morning, then after work managed to burn an 400 calories, by adding some sprints to my walk. (as well as some hard core shower cleaning and a vacuuming). Hopefully that will negate the two pieces of pizza I had at lunch. I told myself I could have one, and bought a salad, but it was just so good, I snarfed down a second. I did take a good five minutes to really think about it though - and to be perfectly honest, in the past I would of downed an entire pizza without thinking and ended up feeling sick. I think the adjustment to two slices is a good compromise, and while I know it wasn't the best choice I could make, the reality is I still sometimes want to be able to enjoy myself without feeling guilty about it. It doesn't help that it was a supplier funded lunch that came with a presentation so it wasn't like I couldn't be there!

Weigh in tomorrow could be interesting - I'm not expecting massive movement, but I know why and I accept that. It's been a full on week (dog had surgery, and then managed to open her wounds up again) but I haven't eaten an entire cake like my devil-mel would like me to; (which is how I used to cope with stress), I shut that bitch up with a serious talking to - and a promise of a treat meal on Saturday.

Wish me luck!

Day One again!

So today is the start date of round one of 2012's 12wbt. I am committing to doing all three rounds this year and really focusing on myself - my own health and wellbeing - and looking out for me. I've been hiding in this body for far to long and its time to get rid of the flab and be myself.

I'm also going to make sure to take part in this blogger challenge! 

 

And that's what I need to keep in mind on my honeymoon too!

Helicopter Motivation Monday! (?)

So I went a bit quiet there, but only because I have been super busy. Last Wednesday I climbed a hill that then turned into a 5km walk and just about died - Thursday I was lazy, Friday even lazier, then Saturday did that same damn hill four times, going a little further each time, thanks to the push from our personal trainer.

Thought I might need a nana nap after that morning, but managed to stay awake, and then Sunday did an 11km walk with a couple of friends - my calves were burning at the end of it. I ended up having a huge nana nap in the afternoon then followed that up with a ten hour sleep. Crazy. Today I was also pretty quiet with another nana nap - I never thought I would be one of those people who sleeps in the middle of the day, but clearly my body needed the time to recover. I burnt a fair few calories and admit to having a sneaky peak on the scales this morning and getting excited - but will wait for Wednesday just in case.

Anyway motivation for this week:

 

I know you're thinking - WTF? A helicopter for motivation?? But it turns out I am about 800grams (as of this morning) away from being the maxium weight limit to be able to fly into the grand canyon via helicopter on my honeymoon (without having to pay for another seat).

I have been talking about this for ages, and I think I was sabotaging myself a little as I am scared of heights, but I know how much Andrew would love to do this, plus instead of being stuck in car to drive there from Vegas (around a 10 hour trip), we'd only need about 4.5 hours or so. It's a little expensive, but everyone I have spoken to who has done it says it really is worth it. 

So I need to suck up my fear. In 2011 I lived with destruction, death, friends moving away, houses and roads being broken, and being shaken about like a polaroid picture -so to be scared of a helicopter seems, well, a little lame.

I'd like to lose another 5.8 kilos before I go. I know its achievable, I just have to get out there and JFDI.

12wbt Round 1 starts next week, so if you haven't signed up yet and are keen to, visit now! Roll on Thursday when our first weeks meal plans and shopping lists come out!!

Motivational Monday

I fully agree with this statement. This might be one of the ones I need to print out and add to a motivational board. Day 2 of Shred completed this morning and a walk planned for after work. I have nearly 29km to churn out by next Tuesday. eek.

Motivation Monday

Monday....

This made me giggle.

Cake is a liar. Even if it is tasty.

3.41km added this morning - 74.79km to go (eeeeek).

Monday - Week Eight

It seems crazy that the time is just flying by on this programme. I think people finally get it when I say 'It's not a diet, it is how normal people eat'. I (mostly) keep to my 1200 calorie limit, and I (try to) exercise 6 days a week. I track everything that goes into my mouth, including the sneaky bit of cake I ate today when I was feeling stressed. So my habits aren't perfect - and I don't expect to be perfect all the time. But I have learnt that if I eat that bit of cake, I need to account for it - by tracking the calories; and work it off - by exercising.

Given that I don't really feel like paying for a gym membership while we are trying to save as much money as we can for our honeymoon in March; I mostly work out using dvd's. Currently my favourite is Billy Blanks SOS (Sweat off the sizes); followed by Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. On Sunday I did both in a row, worked out for over an hour and burnt 400 calories. Today I just did 30 day shred and burnt 175.

I also use The Biggest Loser workouts (Bob makes me smile), and sometimes I do Jackie's Power Circuit, but she kind of scares me.

I forgot how much I like to feel the burn. The next day, even though I groan about sore muscles - I like it because I know it means something is happening. Same with sweat. As gross as it seems, feeling it running down your neck/in your hair, on your palms as you push another set through really makes me feel like I am achieving something.

My mum commented the other day on how I was looking good - and workmates have commented on my body changing. I can sort of see it but not really. On the 12wbt message boards someone posted they felt like they hadn't achieved much - but then decided to take photos to compare to the pre-season pics. She posted the pic of her back - then and now - and you could see the change. I think I might have to do the same thing. Although it won't be for public consumption  - I still find my body pretty horrifying - and I'm shocked at myself for not realising before how fat I had become. I mean, I know I have mirrors and could see by my clothing sizes, but its not the same when you are confronted with it - working through the issues that made me that way in the first place and admitting things to yourself that you haven't been able to - like my binge and emotional eating.

I feel like I have come a long way (baby), but I do have a long way to go. Fingers crossed I smash that 10 kilo goal on Wednesday, and then my next target is 10% of my body weight. Obviously if you are mathematical you can probably figure out how much I weigh(ed), but if you really want to know, just ask. I am proud of what I have achieved so far.

See you Wednesday!

Woof, arf, treat, sit. Good dog.

800 gram loss from last Wednesday's weigh in (sorry I didn't post!). Over 35cm in total (10cm off the boobs!) It's still a long journey for me though - too scared to put the big numbers out there - trying to focus on the first 10, then the second 10 and then the third 10 - and it goes on a bit more, but thats as far as I want to think right now.

I'm currently tracking at 7.8 kilos, I'm hoping to hit 8.5 or (fingers crossed) 9 kilos. Then its 1 or 1and a half more kilos and I hit my first goal.

I need a reward for that first ten, and I'm thinking about a pair of diamond stud earrings. Nothing too big, but something that is special, that I would never think to pick out for myself. Something that every time I look in the mirror I can see and celebrate. 

The old kind of reward I would of chosen would of been food related. But I learnt last week that:

I am not a dog. I should not reward myself with food.

I should pick things like pedicures, manicures, physical objects that I will keep forever. I'm making a list. And unlike Santa I'm not checking it twice.

I'd like to be 99 kilos by March. To go to America and be under the hundy. I think I'm on track to do this, but it might take a bit of extra work. And my reward - I'll buy some kind of jewelery in the states, or maybe a Fendi bag - seeing as I've wanted one for the longest time.

I'll keep thinking.... any suggestions on non-related food rewards gratefully accepted :)

It's monday again!

It's week four! 

No red bull, no fat coke, no takeaway foods (pizza hut, kfc and mcdonalds), and I'm not really missing it. Well maybe the fat coke - I've had a craving for that for the last three days, but I'm sure it will pass. It's in my head - and I just need to let it escape out. Maybe if I am still craving it by Friday I might have half a can. But thats it. No more. Because sometimes I think if you still want something several days after having it in your head, you're better to have a small slice/drink of it, then to deny and then binge on it.

Binging is something I am very prone to doing. And I keep it a secret. So my telling the blog that I do it, it lets it out into the open and maybe it will help me stop. And maybe if you binge in secret it will help you too. 

You see back before I started the programme, I would do the grocery shopping and buy chips, biscuits and chocolate, and by the time Andrew got home from skiing, work or where-ever (because I would only do it when he wasn't around) it would all be gone. And I would hide the evidence. An entire block of chocolate, a whole packet of biscuits, a large tube of pringles. All of it. And sometimes more. Like going to the bakery and buying enough food for what I thought would look like two people and eating all of it myself. 

Reality check now, what I thought could feed two, could probably feed four.

And that's no way to live.

Two chocolate bars, instead of one. Large combo. Upsize me. Give me an extra piece of chicken. I'd like one fish, one hotdog, one scoop of chips and a donut and a can of coke. Two sausage rolls, a custard square and a piece of caramel chocolate slice and a can of coke. An entire pizza, plus chicken on the side, and chips and a dessert and a can of coke.

No wonder I felt sick all the time.

No wonder I would lie in bed with stomach ache.

So, wishing for weight loss when you secretly binge eat, is really not going to happen.

Owning up to this behaviour is fucking scary. But hey, you knew I was fat (surely you noticed) and you must of seen me sometimes overeat. I would of said something like 'Oh I'll save this chocolate for later' but I reckon you noticed me eating it and just didn't want to say anything.

Thanks for letting me pretend. 

But don't let me do it any more.

Tuesday - the day before weigh in.

I know I should write more here - but I've actually been trying to keep away from my computer. You see it sucks me in. I get up and think, right a quick workout, but first I'll just check my email, and next thing you know I've checked the news, my auctions, facebook, gossip sites, message boards and its 7.45 and I need to leave in 15 minutes for work and I've yet to shower, eat and sort out the animals.

I thought this pic was not only funny, but also very true. 

Last week I was a bit lax on the exercise. I'm pretty sure that will show on the scales tomorrow. But I know what my weak points are - I just have to find a way to combat them. So the more people I can encourage to come for a walk/run./waddle with me after work on mon/wed and fri - means the more chance I'll actually go and do it.  And last night, I did the first two laps on my own before someone turned up to join me and I was fine. FINE. So god knows why I wasn't doing this on my own earlier. You'd think being an only child I should be used to doing things on my own and usually I am, but I think it was the fat person nerves, that little voice, 'everyone will look at you, stomping your lard ass round on your own' - well little voice, in return I say 'who the bloody hell cares - I don't know them and if that's their attitude, then there's something wrong with them.'

So people, next time you see a fuller figured person taking some exercise, smile at them. You don't need to cheer, or give them a pep talk (seriously this is just weird and also embarrassing), a smile or a pat on the back as you overtake them (maybe only use the pat on the back one for an actual gym class where you sort of know everyone) is all the encouragement we need.

Motivation

So on Mondays (even though its Tuesday today and I am behind) I think I might post something motivational to keep me focused. I saw this and it really struck a chord with me.

I watched a friend do a round of 12wbt. If I had of really investigated it maybe I would of joined her and I'd be in a different place right now. I would be lighter, fitter and stronger. I would be further down this path of health and change. I put it off and missed the boat.

But at least I'm starting now. And not a year from now.

Weigh in day tomorrow.