Exercising.

So sometimes when I work out.... This happens :

Dinner!

Lamb steak, salad leaves, tomato, gerkin and some kumara.

It's Wednesday!

And you know what that means.... WEIGH IN.

And I lost another kilo, taking me up down by 6.4.I'm not quite sure how... (well I sort of am, someone on the NZ private message board for 12wbt explained basic metabolic rate and calories in and out and I kind of get it now). It's nice to see those numbers drop.

Next Wednesday its not only weigh in day but also measurement day so that will be interesting (I did sneakily measure one thigh this morning out of interest and 3cm's has vanished from it - so although my results aren't gasp-shockingly obvious, they will be soon!

Last night on the message board I posted this image and the below text to go with it.

I think that I am like hey I've lost five kilos, why hasn't anyone noticed - but if I'm honest with myself, its that five kilos is nothing compared to what I actually need to lose to look like a regular sized person. Of course no one is going to notice. I need to be patient, and that's where in the past I have gotten discouraged and failed.

And its true. I have been doing a bit of soul searching with this. Not only do I want to fit comfortably on a plane when we go honeymooning, but I also want a better quality of life. I want to get up and feel energised, I want to go out and not feel like everyone is staring (and most of the time they probably aren't - but it would be nice to not feel like they are). I want to fit into regular sized clothes. I want to be able to walk into shops and not wonder if they have sizes to fit me. I want to not obsess about food all the time. I want this way of life to be a natural thing, - and with time that will happen.

In response to my rant above, the lovely ladies in the group posted these messages of support.

Mel, keep sharing your losses and progress with us so that we can cheer you on because every little bit you lose should be acknowledged. And the great thing is that if you find that patience and keep at it you will eventually enjoy the feeling when your friends start to notice :-)

Mel - 5 kilos is amazing! Imagine that as a bag of potatoes! That is heaps! :)

A bag of potatoes. That is bloody heaps. In two weeks, thats massive. 

And so, this is not just a 12 week journey for me. I will sign up for the next round of the programme and probably the next and the next. 

I am going to smash my goals.

Tuesday - the day before weigh in.

I know I should write more here - but I've actually been trying to keep away from my computer. You see it sucks me in. I get up and think, right a quick workout, but first I'll just check my email, and next thing you know I've checked the news, my auctions, facebook, gossip sites, message boards and its 7.45 and I need to leave in 15 minutes for work and I've yet to shower, eat and sort out the animals.

I thought this pic was not only funny, but also very true. 

Last week I was a bit lax on the exercise. I'm pretty sure that will show on the scales tomorrow. But I know what my weak points are - I just have to find a way to combat them. So the more people I can encourage to come for a walk/run./waddle with me after work on mon/wed and fri - means the more chance I'll actually go and do it.  And last night, I did the first two laps on my own before someone turned up to join me and I was fine. FINE. So god knows why I wasn't doing this on my own earlier. You'd think being an only child I should be used to doing things on my own and usually I am, but I think it was the fat person nerves, that little voice, 'everyone will look at you, stomping your lard ass round on your own' - well little voice, in return I say 'who the bloody hell cares - I don't know them and if that's their attitude, then there's something wrong with them.'

So people, next time you see a fuller figured person taking some exercise, smile at them. You don't need to cheer, or give them a pep talk (seriously this is just weird and also embarrassing), a smile or a pat on the back as you overtake them (maybe only use the pat on the back one for an actual gym class where you sort of know everyone) is all the encouragement we need.

Heh.

Failure to blog.

Its true. I've been hiding. I appear to be handle this way of eating at work. 

But alone. 

On a three day weekend. 

Not so much. 

It probably didn't help that a very dear friend dropped off some of her awesome home made russian fudge. And while I didn't scoff the entire lot in one sitting like I would of before starting 12wbt - I did eat. All of it. Over three days. Despite telling Andrew (hubby) and Mum and my friends that I will go and give it to the neighbours.

Fudge fail.

But I did cook every night I was on my own and I kept mostly to my 1200 calorie limit - only going over slightly.

And, today being weigh in day I was not expecting to lose 1.8 kilos. But I did. 

But how much more would it of been if I had behaved - and made the two exercise sessions I missed?

Temptation and Weigh in day!

So this morning it was weigh in day and I'm super stoked to report I dropped my lard by 3.6 kilos or 2.59%. Massive amount for only two real days of careful strict eating and exercise. I was pretty excited given that yesterday was so shit with the news of Dee*'s cancer being more serious then we thought and the probability that she's going to have to have chemo.

Today I also managed to do day 2 of week one of the C25K. And this time I jogged for the full nine minutes (as opposed to Monday's roughly 6 minutes of managing to keep the jogging up). Pretty impressed with myself right now!

We also had one of the media we deal with turn up at work today with a box of donuts. Beautiful donuts. I bunked the meeting and managed to keep away from them. It was really hard - but the amount of work I would have to do to burn that donut off kept me focused. It also helps that three people in my office of nine know what I am trying to achieve and I didn't want to blow it this early! Hopefully this will continue on - but I know there will be times where I do fail and I need to admit it, own it and move on. (and of course factor into my calories for the day).

Given that the environment I work in is very food focused (seriously, media bring us food constantly) - which when you don't give a shit about what you eat, is great - but when you're trying to make a seriously lifestyle change - its bloody hard. I reckon this is going to be one of my biggest challenges. But I'm determined to figure out a way to make it work and to deal with it.

Onwards and downwards! (on the scales)

* Dee is one of my two dogs. She's a brindle boxer we found at the pound that no one claimed. She is very loving, sweet and fun. This blows the big monkey. But we love her and would do anything to help her live a long happy life. She is one of our kids...

Motivation

So on Mondays (even though its Tuesday today and I am behind) I think I might post something motivational to keep me focused. I saw this and it really struck a chord with me.

I watched a friend do a round of 12wbt. If I had of really investigated it maybe I would of joined her and I'd be in a different place right now. I would be lighter, fitter and stronger. I would be further down this path of health and change. I put it off and missed the boat.

But at least I'm starting now. And not a year from now.

Weigh in day tomorrow.

Day one.

Right now I have a giant detox headache - which is understandable given that every day I would usually have chocolate / lollies / coke and sometimes all three.

This morning started with about 15 minutes of 'The Biggest Loser' workout DVD before Bob and friends froze on my screen and wouldn't unfreeze. There's a massive scratch across the bottom - so I stopped and made a berry smoothie for breakfast. Lunch was amazing - chicken salad with yoghurt dressing. Then a snack in the afternoon before meeting a friend to start c25k.

It hurt to run but I did it. My pace is very slow in fact towards the end I think someone walking could of got past me, but I have to start somewhere!

Dinner was delicious and I'm about to have dessert and take my tired arse to bed.... Fingers crossed tomorrow is just as good as today - but without the headache would be nice!!

The dreaded photo.

So my 'before' (because it will before - it will be changing) photo was not as awful as I expected.

Don't get me wrong, its still awful - but I think my biggest shock was the scales anyway, so I'm not worried as much about the semi naked beached whale 'before' look as I thought. Of course, I'd never post it publicly! 

I might take some clothed shots to also do a comparison with - and when I complete the 12wbt I'll consider posting them then.

Preparation.

I think this may be the first time my fridge has ever looked so good!

Pre-season tasks

I've been working through the pre-season tasks - I only have four days to complete them all and last nights one was slightly awful. It was the dreaded weigh and measure (and photo taking*, but I haven't done that part yet)).

The weigh in was not great. See we've had these scales for years - they're the old dial ones - and I was sure they were out - they were hard to read too, making it easier to lie to myself about my actual weight.

Last night, while shopping for stationery to keep my meal plans, recopies and food diary/planner I ended up buying some new digital scales.

I braved standing on them and I was eight kilo's heavier than what my old dial-up scales say.

I can't lie to myself anymore - this is the BIGGEST I have ever been. It's not good. No wonder I'm exhausted all the time.

It's time to change.

(*photo taking will be a post of it own. ugh. this might be worse then the actual scales).

It's time

It's time to resurrect this dusty old blog. Please feel free to move stuff around, wipe down the chairs and blow the dust off the ornaments.

I'm starting this diet and fitness thing again. And this time its a take no prisoners approach.

I can't continue to be the way I am. The secret eating and overeating. The bad food choices. The lying to myself that one won't hurt. (one might not hurt but when one is a packet thats gotta hurt). The ultimate lazy behaviour. Its time to stop. and think. and get my shit together.

I signed up for the http://www.12wbt.com/ I'm working through my preseason tasks. The season starts Monday.

Wish me luck.