I did it!!!! In your face lard!!!

So motivation Monday is usually an image to inspire, but instead.....

I FLIPPEN DID IT! I walked 101.02 km in January. I am so proud of myself right now, you have no idea. I can't stop smiling! I actually took a goal and smashed it! It is possible!!!!!

Chef Sunday (Brown rice salad with feta)

So I know I said I would add recipes to my blog and I have been incredibly slack and haven't - but look here's the first one! With a photo! And its super fast, easy and YUM. Plus you can tweak ingredients to suit.

I've made this tonight for a bbq I'm going to - it feeds about 4-6 as part of a main meal - I've guestimated 8 serves out of the giant bowl I made it in so around 136 calories - but of course this will depend on the feta as you may like to add a bit more depending on your taste. It's also good with aged cheddar (but maybe not for calories with that tweak). Anyway....

Brown rice salad with feta

2 packets of sunrise brown rice (90 second stuff)
1/2 block of feta cheese
1 punnet of cherry tomatoes, or a couple of large tomatoes if you have those around instead
1 cup or so of frozen green beans
1 red onion (I used half because I find it too strong) or you could use spring onions instead
some low fat french dressing

Blanch the beans (you know, when you pour boiling water over them and then chuck them in icy cold water - like when Christchurch people head to Hanmer hot pools in summer).

While that's going on and your beans are getting cold - cook the rice in the micrwave and start chopping up your feta, onions and tomatoes. How fine you do it all is up to you, but I like tiny bits of onion and feta and then big hunks of tomato.

Once the rice is cooked, chuck it in your serving bowl and pour over 2 tablespoons of your dressing. I use french as I like the tang, but you could experiement with others. Chuck in the veges and cheese and toss. Add two more tablespoons of dressing and mix up a bit more.

Pop it in the fridge and you're done! How easy is that! My husband likes to add a bit more dressing once it's on his plate.

I think I got this from an ad on TV for one of the supermarkets, like the food in a minute ones. And we tested it on one of our special needs (aka vegetarian) friends who said it was delish. I'll let you know how it goes down tonight and if I get to bring home an empty bowl :)

Weekend!

So Saturday I met up with an awesome group of people doing round one of 12wbt. We had a training session down at a local park. We played games, chucked some tires around, ran round the park, did pressups, it was great.

Today I got up and added another 5.8km to my January total., only 6km to go with two days left in the month.

I haven't been writing as much this week - with doing a few walks after work by the time I get home I have enough energy left to eat and then crash out.

This is a hard journey I have set myself. It was easy to put the weight on, easy to make bad choices, easy to just eat whatever I wanted, easy to say 'I'll do it later' and then not do it at all. The excuses I would make 'I had a hard day at work, I need comfort food, I'm too tired to exercise, I can't be bothered, I'll go twice as hard tomorrow (yeah SURE you will), I'm not that big, I'm not that fat, I'm too unfit, I have pcos so it doesn't matter anyway - I won't be able to lose the weight....'

Sometimes those voices are still there, and I have to argue with them and push myself out the door. You can see if you look at my January kms, Thursday I was exhausted so gave myself the day off, Friday I planned to go, and then managed to talk myself out of it but I promised myself I would clean the bathroom and vacuum instead, which, I didn't even do - Saturday I had training so didn't walk, today I made the effort and I hurt now, but I feel great. Plus I burnt 400 calories.I just have to remember that feeling. Or encourage myself to JFDI for ten minutes and then I can turn around and come back - because ten minutes in usually I have my stride on, the music pumping and feel compelled to keep going.

YES!

There is nothing more disheartening then seeing your weight go up then down then up from week to week. But this morning I think I've cracked it. With a 1.6 kilos lost, that puts me under my last weigh in from the end of round three - and tracking at 12.5 kilos all up. YES! Now I feel amped for the rest of the week, as opposed to stabby (like last week). I am going to kick ass.

Motivational Monday

I fully agree with this statement. This might be one of the ones I need to print out and add to a motivational board. Day 2 of Shred completed this morning and a walk planned for after work. I have nearly 29km to churn out by next Tuesday. eek.

I've just set myself up with a meal plan for the week. I've contacted a personal trainer to see if he would be interested in helping myself and some of the team doing the 12wbt. Waiting to hear back from him, but in the meantime I've grabbed my diary and planned some exercise sessions. I've taken on another challenge that starts tomorrow - 30 days of shred. My February challenge is ready to go (29 days x 29 minutes of exercise every day + 29km walking). I'm about to go check my recipe books to look for low calorie meals to eat until the season starts - I'm going to blog about them too, adding in photos and the actual recipe in case others want to try them.

Its worth the effort.

Get Real (Task 2)

So task two of preseason is to combat excuses.

My biggest one is that I feel embarrassed about exercising in large groups. I keep getting invited to Zumba classes - which nearly everyone at work go to; and I just can't do it. I love dancing, but I'd prefer to do it in the comfort of my own home thanks. Although is saying that - my zumba dvd's have only ever been played about 4 times. For some reason, as much as I love to dance, I find doing a weights workout with Jackie, or sweating it out with Billy Blanks much more rewarding.

Last round, one of my goals was to run 5k by the end of the programme. I didn't achieve it. And the reason why is because I felt like people were looking at me when I ran. Because clearly, I am the centre of EVERYONE'S WORLD. Really, people couldn't give a shit about me running. I have no idea what those people are thinking - and why the hell should I even care?

The mind is a tricky thing. I have to force myself to run parts of my walking schedule. The weird thing is I love running, I remember doing cross country at school when I was a kid. But something about running in daylight as an overweight adult (and trust me you don't want to run in the dark in my neighbourhood) really makes me panic. I've completed week one of the c25k. I need to make sure I keep going - its a good way to get my km's in for January, and out of my comfort zone. I have to remember no one actually cares. Mostly they're probably thinking 'Good on her'.

Here we go again...

I've signed up for round one of the 12 week body transformation 2012. I have been dicking around about making a decision - mainly because with going to America it would be nice to have as much money as possible. But, I'm only in the US for three weeks, which means I still get 9 weeks of proper 12wbt; (plus preseason tasks) and three of me making the best of going to a place where food may be super super supersized and I may (ha) go a little out of control. However - every hotel we are booked into has a gym and in Vegas we are staying at one end of the strip in order to get a fair bit of walking in (fingers crossed).

While I know those three weeks are going to be tough, the posts I read tonight on the 12wbt messageboard made me enthusiastic about signing up again and getting ready to smash it. There are a lot of people (there are some men on the programme, but not as many as the women) who have had such great successes in the past and some who are so pumped about starting, that its catching and I'm sitting here super excited to get to week one!

So the first task is to introduce yourself. Most of the people that read my blog on purpose (other than stumbling over it from me linking to twitter, or pintrest (if you want an invite let me know)) are my friends and workmates. So you all know that we work in a stressful environment. What people from the 12wbt may not know (I link my blog there too) is that with the earthquakes chch has gone through, I work in a small space, in a residential area. I'm pretty sure the neighbours think we run some kind of phone sex operation, given that there are eight women and one bloke, and we make jokes about it all the time. Anyway, contributing to that is the fact that its easy to make bad food choices when you are hungry, haven't planned your food well enough for the day, and the closest food supply to you is the corner dairy. It's also hard to train from home given that our hills are no go zones - and some of our parks are a bit rough due to land damage - I'm not quite ready for a gym membership yet though - maybe closer to winter.

I also have PcOs. Which means that my body doesn't process food the same way someone who doesn't have it does. It can be harder for me to lose weight, easier for me to gain it, and some women with it suffer from acne and hair issues. (lucky I don't, even though my husband likes to take the piss and says that I do). It also causes me to have some fertility issues.

And I forgot the general stuff - Hi, my name is Mel, I'm 35, live in Christchurch, New Zealand with my husband (of not quite a year), our two boxer dogs (Reese and Dee) and our two cats (Molly and Fergus).

I'm looking forward to Round One 2012. I think its the push I need to make this year about me. My health, my fitness, my life.

Motivation Monday

It burns...

I hate being woken up suddenly. And when a 5.0 quake hits its definitely a bit of a shock to the system. Lying in bed hearing all your glasses rattle and hearing things fall - having a 26 kilo boxer leap on the bed to get between me and Andrew because she's scared, while a 32 kilo boxer is trying to get out so she can bark at old Ma Nature - it doesn't make for the best nights sleep. It took ages to go out again - thinking 'is that it; is another one coming; is it going to be bigger; is the TV okay?'. Its exhausting.

It also means that instead of getting up at 7am like I planned, I end up getting up at 8am but still managed to knock out a nearly two hour trek - 8.41km. Burnt 679 calories and am now on the downward slope of under 50km to trek for the rest of January.

This challenge was a crazy idea but its encouraged me to get out and move my ass so that's a good thing.

JFDI - J(ust) F(riggen, or ucken) D(o) I(t)

I had a serious case of the tireds this morning. Not sure if its because I couldn't get to sleep last night, had crazy dreams, a 4.2 earthquake, a cat trying to sleep on my pillow and just one of those BLAH nights. Usually after a night like that I'd try and stay in bed an extra hour, and then by the time I trot off to work would of helped myself to a red bull (along with some chocolate) to try and get my energy up for the day.

This morning, while I was exhausted and didn't get up to walk, I did get up, ate a fairly sensible breakfast ( I had a sculpt protein shake, but that's still okay) got ready for work, get there on time, and didn't drink the red bull. After work I managed a 5.46km walk (took me an hour) and burnt 434 calories.

Today's motivation was:

30km in to the 100km challenge. I've started weaving streets - ie walk up mine, then go down the next, then back up the next cross street and so on - it ads on extra km's without being too far from home so if anything does happen (which when you live in the shakiest damn city in the world you do get a bit paranoid) makes me feel a bit better about being able to get back to the girls (dogs) asap - rather than being miles away.

Its awful though, walking the broken streets, with the holes in the roads, missing or slumping houses and sometimes a bit of paranoia creeps in when you're walking under one of the few remaining awnings... but this is my home - I love my city, and all the broken-ness of it; even though sometimes I find it tough going and I bitch and moan and make noise about leaving.

I keep thinking I should take photos of what I am seeing, but if it was my house I would feel violated so I don't. But maybe on an early morning walk I could take a few shots. And keep them. This is part of our history now, as horrible as it is. But I know Christchurch will come back stronger. 

Monday....

This made me giggle.

Cake is a liar. Even if it is tasty.

3.41km added this morning - 74.79km to go (eeeeek).

Motivation

is a funny thing. So is self sabotage (which I am quite good at). This morning I got halfway through what I thought would be my walk feeling really over it and not in the mood and debating about cutting out a few streets earlier than usual - but then a song came on my ipod that made me step up the pace and the next thing I knew I'd walked 6.62km and burnt over 500 calories. One song motivated me to keep moving. And that song....

Weird I know. Maybe its the beat or the guitar solos...

Now I just have to stop myself from eating those calories.

So one week in I've walked 21.8km with 78.2km to go.

Damn thats a big number!

Wednesday Weigh In

Its going down! The 2 kilos I put on after the challenge finished/xmas/earthquakes is 300 grams away from being GONE FOR EVER. Seriously, losing this weight twice is flippen annoying, and the worse part is that this is probably the third or forth time I've lost that same kilo. But no more.

So technically, my current weight loss is at 11.9 kilos. Pretty happy with that right now.

The 100km challenge has bought out my competitive nature. I've walked just over 10km in the last three days. This morning I got up at 5.45 and did a 4km walk. I am thinking I might do another walk tonight, but I do have to cook mum's birthday cake so I might not have time.

I have so many places I have to be accountable that I shouldn't fail. I log my food and exercise and calorie burns with myfitnesspal (username is melsienz if you want to add me); then I use runkeeper; imapmyfitness (for walking) or Ease into 5K (for helping me to learn to run) to track my km's. I log my km's on the facebook 12wbt NZ group and check out everyone else's numbers; log in to the back end of blogger to update that box over there ------>  and then if I have something to say I type a blog post, and sometimes I tweet it too. Phew.

Now its time for breakfast. I think I deserve a good feed today :)

So now that I have to be accountable...

I just went on a wee run/walk and took 2.56km off that 100km total. boom!

January Challenge

So, one of the awesome ladies in the NZ group of 12wbt set herself a goal of covering 100k in January. I'm going to join in too. Yes I know it only equates to 3k a day, but there will be some days where I don't get up and run (aka today - mutiple overnight aftershocks make for a very restless sleep and no energy - although I am going to attempt to go later tonight) so its still an achievable and measurable goal.

I'll set up a little box over there ----->   to keep an eye on myself :)

I'm back!

Here's the scoop - I have managed to pretty much maintain my weight since the end of 12wbt. I am planning on signing up for Round One 2012 and will do that on payday - and in the meantime, while I had fallen off a bit - today is a new day. I've already walked/run 6.5 k, completing day one, week one of the C25K. I burnt 235 calories and now I'm about to shower and then get to the supermarket to purchase some healthy options for breakfast, lunch and dinner. phew.

Its the end...

of the 12 week challenge, and overall I am pretty happy with my results. My final weigh in is tomorrow, and I will do my measurements again. I fell off a little in the last two weeks; with exercise and eating (and writing), but know that I did and have made a plan to combat it. I am hoping to reach 15 kilo loss by Christmas; its not that far off, I just need to get really focused.

I still need to go and purchase my 10 kilo loss reward. I have been hesitant to do so because I want the money for our honeymoon, but as a wise co-worker said to me - 'You've just ripped yourself off, its what you planned and now you haven't done it - which means its in the back of your mind and so you are setting yourself up to fail'. She's right.

Earrings here I come ;)

12.2 kilos!!

I can't believe it. I could actually get to 15 kilos in the next three weeks if I work hard. woohoo!

A little motivation.

I am supposed to burn 1000 calories every Saturday. I find it incredibly hard. Today I got closer than I ever have before.

Cracked it!

Last week I was pretty quiet on the blogging front. Weigh in was not great - it wasn't a gain, but it was the same weight as the week before. I had a bit of a toy throwing moment and decided to eat whatever the hell I wanted on Thursday - but the weirdest thing - I didn't want that much - and I can't eat that much anymore.

My friend and I went for dinner - I ordered a chicken burger - ate the chicken, half of a bun, the salad and half of the chips and I was stuffed full. In the old days I would of eaten all of it and then looked for dessert (and probably had three drinks as well).

I did have a frozen margarita though. And rather than sculling it down and ordering two more, I made it last throughout the meal.

Friday I weighed myself again and I was up 200 grams, Saturday and Sunday I was back to the Wednesday weigh in weight - aka those same damn numbers.

Monday - I'd lost 900 grams. Tuesday and Wednesday that number held fast. PHEW. (Given that I spent yesterday at Addington Cup Day (the one race I bet on with my own money I made a profit of $4.90 - super excited), and there was free drinks and super yum food) I'm pretty happy with that.

900 grams puts me past my 10 kilo reward and on track to have lost 10% of my body weight by the end of the 12 weeks. That is now my revised goal.

Wish me luck!

Monday - Week Eight

It seems crazy that the time is just flying by on this programme. I think people finally get it when I say 'It's not a diet, it is how normal people eat'. I (mostly) keep to my 1200 calorie limit, and I (try to) exercise 6 days a week. I track everything that goes into my mouth, including the sneaky bit of cake I ate today when I was feeling stressed. So my habits aren't perfect - and I don't expect to be perfect all the time. But I have learnt that if I eat that bit of cake, I need to account for it - by tracking the calories; and work it off - by exercising.

Given that I don't really feel like paying for a gym membership while we are trying to save as much money as we can for our honeymoon in March; I mostly work out using dvd's. Currently my favourite is Billy Blanks SOS (Sweat off the sizes); followed by Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. On Sunday I did both in a row, worked out for over an hour and burnt 400 calories. Today I just did 30 day shred and burnt 175.

I also use The Biggest Loser workouts (Bob makes me smile), and sometimes I do Jackie's Power Circuit, but she kind of scares me.

I forgot how much I like to feel the burn. The next day, even though I groan about sore muscles - I like it because I know it means something is happening. Same with sweat. As gross as it seems, feeling it running down your neck/in your hair, on your palms as you push another set through really makes me feel like I am achieving something.

My mum commented the other day on how I was looking good - and workmates have commented on my body changing. I can sort of see it but not really. On the 12wbt message boards someone posted they felt like they hadn't achieved much - but then decided to take photos to compare to the pre-season pics. She posted the pic of her back - then and now - and you could see the change. I think I might have to do the same thing. Although it won't be for public consumption  - I still find my body pretty horrifying - and I'm shocked at myself for not realising before how fat I had become. I mean, I know I have mirrors and could see by my clothing sizes, but its not the same when you are confronted with it - working through the issues that made me that way in the first place and admitting things to yourself that you haven't been able to - like my binge and emotional eating.

I feel like I have come a long way (baby), but I do have a long way to go. Fingers crossed I smash that 10 kilo goal on Wednesday, and then my next target is 10% of my body weight. Obviously if you are mathematical you can probably figure out how much I weigh(ed), but if you really want to know, just ask. I am proud of what I have achieved so far.

See you Wednesday!

Something I need to remember

So close!

This week I lost exactly one kilo, which puts me 300 grams away from 10 kilos. 300 grams. ARGH. However this means that next week I should SMASH IT - and then the next goal is 10% of my old body weight.

I have been a bit lax on the exercise lately - I've not been feeling very well and yesterday came home from work (after going in for about 10 minutes) and fell asleep for six hours. Then I read for a bit, cooked and ate dinner, then went to bed again and woke up with a sore throat. ugh.

The heart rate monitor is really inspiring though - every time I do wear it and work out I find myself going for a bit longer to burn those extra cals. I like to get it up to a round number, so rather than 250 cals burnt, take it to 300 - the other day I hit 450 so I took it to 500 -  its kind of fun in a weird way.

I still haven't figured out a list of 'rewards' yet, but I'm planning on taking some time out to do this tomorrow.

An add on...

The heart rate monitor - I thought yeah, yeah, gimmick, gimmick. And then I thought, okay maybe I should get one, and now, after a first proper workout wearing it; hearing it beep when my heart rate gets to high so I can go back into the fat burning zone, and then seeing the magic 409 calories burnt at the end of a workout (which admittedly was a workout that turned into vaccuming because I was so close to 300 cals - except have now ended up on 409 cals - so damn worth it.

A new toy for weigh in day!

900 gram loss this week. Given that on Saturday Tarn and I had a free for all, although not as free as we would of before starting 12wbt, I'm pretty happy with that. I've now lost 8.7 kilos in 6 weeks. If I average it out by the end of the programme I should of lost around 16 -17 kilos, but the body is a fickle thing, and sometimes so is my mind, so I'll keep my fingers crossed and aim for 20 kilos - but I'd be happy to hit 15.

I got a new toy yesterday. A polar heart rate monitor. The 12wbt has deals on a few things and I wondered about getting one so after asking the members of the round 3 NZ group I thought it would be worth it. Tracking calories burnt and making sure I'm working out in the right zone (ie fat loss) is going to be very beneficial for me - plus I quite like round numbers, so if I was working out and could see that I had burnt 289 calories, its not hard to make that number 300. The best part though was the price - no gst (bought out of Australia) and 20% off + free shipping = score!

1.3 kilos until I hit my first 10kg goal. Hopefully the HRM will help me get there for next week.

Woof, arf, treat, sit. Good dog.

800 gram loss from last Wednesday's weigh in (sorry I didn't post!). Over 35cm in total (10cm off the boobs!) It's still a long journey for me though - too scared to put the big numbers out there - trying to focus on the first 10, then the second 10 and then the third 10 - and it goes on a bit more, but thats as far as I want to think right now.

I'm currently tracking at 7.8 kilos, I'm hoping to hit 8.5 or (fingers crossed) 9 kilos. Then its 1 or 1and a half more kilos and I hit my first goal.

I need a reward for that first ten, and I'm thinking about a pair of diamond stud earrings. Nothing too big, but something that is special, that I would never think to pick out for myself. Something that every time I look in the mirror I can see and celebrate. 

The old kind of reward I would of chosen would of been food related. But I learnt last week that:

I am not a dog. I should not reward myself with food.

I should pick things like pedicures, manicures, physical objects that I will keep forever. I'm making a list. And unlike Santa I'm not checking it twice.

I'd like to be 99 kilos by March. To go to America and be under the hundy. I think I'm on track to do this, but it might take a bit of extra work. And my reward - I'll buy some kind of jewelery in the states, or maybe a Fendi bag - seeing as I've wanted one for the longest time.

I'll keep thinking.... any suggestions on non-related food rewards gratefully accepted :)

Emotional eating and bad planning.

I'm writing this from a cafe. Not the best breakfast to have, but after taking Dee to chemotherapy this morning and then realising I have no milk, bread or eggs after getting home I chose to stop at a cafe. I chose. It's not the best choice but it's been a while. I'm not sure what I think right now, I know I should of been better organized this week and I'm not.

7 kilos BYEEEEEEE

Yes, today's weigh in, while being one of my lowest losses so far (600 grams) puts me up to 7 kilos lost, in four weeks. I'm pretty happy with that. I know I can do more, and I know I'm going to have to be a bit more vigilant though - a few red flags (days where you know eating will be tricky due to social functions etc) coming up - I had one last night (posh dinner), one tonight (family dinner), one on Monday (co-workers birthday - we always get cake), a work function with nibbles and drinks on Thursday, next Saturday a baby shower, and the list goes on.

But its how you deal with these things that I think I never used to figure out. I'd just eat and eat and eat.

So tonight, I've checked the menu and will go for a healthy option of veges and chickens in a light sauce (like oyster), next Monday I will have a piece of cake, although only half of the serving and no other snacks and a light dinner. The work function I am organising so I'll be able to have input into the menu, but I will make sure to have a salad before I go and to have a snack free day so I can eat a little.

These are all things I guess normal people do without thinking about it. I guess I never learnt it before, but its better late than never.

It's monday again!

It's week four! 

No red bull, no fat coke, no takeaway foods (pizza hut, kfc and mcdonalds), and I'm not really missing it. Well maybe the fat coke - I've had a craving for that for the last three days, but I'm sure it will pass. It's in my head - and I just need to let it escape out. Maybe if I am still craving it by Friday I might have half a can. But thats it. No more. Because sometimes I think if you still want something several days after having it in your head, you're better to have a small slice/drink of it, then to deny and then binge on it.

Binging is something I am very prone to doing. And I keep it a secret. So my telling the blog that I do it, it lets it out into the open and maybe it will help me stop. And maybe if you binge in secret it will help you too. 

You see back before I started the programme, I would do the grocery shopping and buy chips, biscuits and chocolate, and by the time Andrew got home from skiing, work or where-ever (because I would only do it when he wasn't around) it would all be gone. And I would hide the evidence. An entire block of chocolate, a whole packet of biscuits, a large tube of pringles. All of it. And sometimes more. Like going to the bakery and buying enough food for what I thought would look like two people and eating all of it myself. 

Reality check now, what I thought could feed two, could probably feed four.

And that's no way to live.

Two chocolate bars, instead of one. Large combo. Upsize me. Give me an extra piece of chicken. I'd like one fish, one hotdog, one scoop of chips and a donut and a can of coke. Two sausage rolls, a custard square and a piece of caramel chocolate slice and a can of coke. An entire pizza, plus chicken on the side, and chips and a dessert and a can of coke.

No wonder I felt sick all the time.

No wonder I would lie in bed with stomach ache.

So, wishing for weight loss when you secretly binge eat, is really not going to happen.

Owning up to this behaviour is fucking scary. But hey, you knew I was fat (surely you noticed) and you must of seen me sometimes overeat. I would of said something like 'Oh I'll save this chocolate for later' but I reckon you noticed me eating it and just didn't want to say anything.

Thanks for letting me pretend. 

But don't let me do it any more.